Collaborate without boundaries

Day 9 - Done and will be continued

  • Comments 3

Today was a very hard day. My wife came back from her trip and I felt it would be nice to have a bunch of flowers in her room when she came back(Not today's dare I know) and when she called me later on asking if I put them there I said yes she very rudely said thanks and then started going off at me stating that I should just stop doing things like this. It will just make it harder for me in the end. I stated that I felt I needed to do it and she blew me off completely.

When I saw her later I greeted as enthusiastically as possible but at this stage she hardly wants me to touch her let alone give her a kiss.

She then proceeded to talk to me and it was very very difficult for me to not talk/react at what she was saying. She pretty much told me that it is over. Nothing I say or do now will make a difference and I will most probably be served with the d papers in the next week or 2.

At this stage it is very difficult for me to continue with the process. Not because I do not want to but because I have made my peace with the d. I still do not want it but if it happens I feel God has another plan for me and that brings me peace.

I tried to tell her that she must just embrace the changes I have made, even if it does not change the way she feels about me.

  • I can fully relate with those first three paragraphs except I've already received the papers. My wife, too, says no chance. I am not giving up though. There are too many success stories out there. Plus the dares are for YOU to grow, not to bring her back. Worry about yourself and your relationship with God. I hope this all doesn't sound mean. That's not what I'm intending.

    I remember reading something like 20% of people who file for divorce change their minds and also a good number of people who divorce remarry each other later.

    As far as I'm concerned marriage is for life so I will treat my wife like my wife until the day I die no matter what dumb decisions she makes. I do believe that's what the Bible says if I understand it correctly. Except in the case of infidelity.

  • Eddie, even in infidelity, I think that verse is in Matthew can be interpreted so many ways. If we truly want to love unconditionally, well, then we surely can forgive 70 x 7, even if it is adultery.  

  • Remember what happened.  And then continue a dare a day, no more, no less.  I understand you are learning through the dares to think of her,but the extras are getting in her space.  

    you mention very difficult to continue the process.  Well, do this for God, not her, not the marriage, but know you are standing for the marriage.

    Sometimes the peace and comfort you receive from God can confuse you into not wanting the marriage to work out as much as before.  If this is or becomes the case, remember, you entered a life long covenant and lead your heart.  If a d happens, let it all fall on her, not you.

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