Collaborate without boundaries

Day 8 done

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So I woke up to a message from her about something that was said before Christmas by one of her family members. This felt like it set me back 10 steps again (I did not say anything wrong but she does not appreciate me talking to her family) and I quite honestly just told her I needed someone to talk to. I have now told her that I will speak to her family anymore. I quite honestly don't need to as I have a Christian Therapist that I am speaking to and I have my prayers.

I still completed today's dare and burning that negative list felt amazing. Almost as if the Holy Ghost was next to me while burning it.

I congratulated her and that was the end of it.

My trust now is fully put in God.

 

God bless you all.

  • I have certainly learned the hard way to keep my mouth shut. You can tell the therapist anything but rest assured anything you say outside of therapy WILL get back to your spouse. And it doesn't matter how you intended it to sound they will turn it into the worst thing mankind has ever heard. Just be careful what you say.

    I actually thought about this a few days ago and that's when I decided to say only positive things about my wife. I even text her every now and then and tell her something positive. I want to train myself to be positive and say positive things. I'm forcing myself to adopt a new habit. It's really hard because I want to tell her how faulty she is and point out everything she is doing wrong but that would be counter productive. The worst part is talking about her in front of my children. I want to say negative things but I have been forcing myself to stay positive. The kids aren't dumb though and tell me I'm crazy when I say she's amazing. If kids can figure it out then I'm certain other adults can as well. We just need to stay positive and it will all come full circle in the end.

    "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

    Ephesians 4:29

  • We often want to talk to others about our spouse just to get things off of our chest, but we need to be careful who we talk to because many people will share only the world's ways and say we don't deserve this and iti's time for us to find something better.  To make us happy.  And as Eddie pointed out your spouse will so often turn things into something horrific in their minds.  

    It feels like 10 steps back, but as long as you do your best to stay on this path of Christ, let go of the feeling of going backwards.  If you made a mistake sharing with her family, God will cover that.  And she will quickly get over it.

  • Also, we can so often share with the wrong people, and this can lead to us not protecting our spouse.  Not saying you did this, but it can become easy to do.

  • Family can be difficult, whether it's your family or theirs. My MIL blocked me from social media. DH did too, but for some reason it hurt just as bad when his mother did it. I haven't done anything but like a couple of posts, same as I always do.

    I had to realize that DH probably asked her to block me, because he didn't want us to communicate. I may not like it, but I respect that it was something that he needed.

    I have found that talking to my family isn't good either, because they tend to be resentful towards him and they are a source of negativity in my life. I've found a few friends that I have been able to trust, and my counselor. But God is the one who really makes me feel comforted and at peace every time.

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