Collaborate without boundaries

Day 6 and still confused

  • Comments 5

So today took a while to get to as I was running some errands and doing some things for my wife that she requested and all in all I think I handled it quite well. I took on all the errands she asked me to do without any complaints and even did more than was expected of me. 

She had to work today (she is a photographer in her spare time and had a weeding shoot to do today) so I had no problem handling her requests as well as doing some extra things.

When she got home it took her about an hour but she thanked me for it all. Then afterward she threw another jab of requesting me to start sorting out my stuff for when I move out. I kept quiet as I saw this as the best way to handle today's dare.

One thing that confuses me is the fact that we have a large photo in our dining room from our wedding day. with the one disagreement we had not to long ago I asked her to remove it since she feels nothing for me anymore and it is still hanging there. I am not sure how I should take the fact that it is still hanging.


God bless you all.

  • Don't try to read into it.  Just let it be, like many of us do when our spouses no longer where their wedding ring.  Our spouses use these things to get at us many times.  Just another jab.  

    She may be thinking, he asked me to remove it, but I will show him I am in control by not removing it.

    Keep the photo there.  It shows unity.  Asking her to remove it was showing selfishness, you were allowing your emotions to lead your words and actions.  But now you know to lead your heart, not let your emotions lead you.

  • Thank you Tim. Yes I am learning to lead my heart a bit more every day. It is still not easy everyday but I pray and receive power from the Lord to push through.

    I understand now that it was for selfish reasons as it was causing great pain to look at it everyday but now I look at it as motivation of sorts.

    Just thought it was strange that she is so adamant for a d but she still has that hanging. Deep down I feel that it still means something to her.

  • Many things she will and has done will not make sense.  You just have to file these things away in a file labeled  Can Not Be Explained....

  • Many things she will and has done will not make sense.  You just have to file these things away in a file labeled  Can Not Be Explained....

  • I wonder the same things sometimes. I can tell you that trying to figure out what they are thinking will drive you crazy because what they are doing is not rational. It makes sense to them because they are angry and prideful. Until they let go of that you're just going to remain in a state of confusion.

    All you can do is live for Christ and show that to her. Don't do anything that goes against unity. I slept on the couch for months until it was suggested on here to sleep in my own bed and make my wife choose where to sleep. That way I am showing unity while she chooses separation. I have felt much more peaceful since then.

    Continue to bite your tongue. I do it every day. It's difficult but it's better than saying something regretful.

    "A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."

    Proverbs 15:1

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