Collaborate without boundaries

Day 7, Round 2

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It's been a few days since my last entry and the only thing that's really happened is my 2nd oldest son is home on leave.  Praise the Lord!!  We are new to military life and I miss him so much when he's gone.  He's happy to be home too.  I think he's hugged me a dozen times since Saturday.  

My husband has moved back into the bedroom but only because my son is back in his own bed.  On the nights we're both home, my husband does not say goodnight and sleeps with his back to mine.  Since our last conversation, he stopped giving me hugs goodbye.  We had some bad weather move in on Saturday morning and he said I got to have a hug and kiss goodbye because there was bad weather and he had to drive to work in it.  (Extremely grateful for that blessing) But just a few hours later he was back to ignoring me. 

With him being more closed off and distant, it's made today's dare seem impossible. I just can't think of any good attributes.  I try to focus on the man he was before and it's still hard.  I haven't listed any negative ones because I want to try and find good ones first. I realize it's a selfish and willful thought.  I've prayed for revelation but still, nothing comes to mind. 

I met with the Christian counselor today.  It was only my second session but I feel good about her.  She confronted me on a couple things but she was very nice about it.  LOL!  We will work on my new walk with the Lord, how I can be more direct without causing harm, ways to obtain peace when anxiety is elevated, and ways to stay focused on God no matter what happens.  Gosh I wish my husband was willing to go to a Christian counselor.  We could learn so much, together. 

I continue to show him kindness and love but I'm having trouble with feelings of resentment.  I will continue to pray about healing for the both of us.  

 

  • Try not to manipulate the dare.  Even if you can't write down anything positive, do the negative list. It all serves purpose.  

    The sleeping with the back to you, not getting hugs goodby, those types of things......Do not take these things personally.  The way he acts has nothing to do with you really but him.  Because he is wanting to hold on to the way he is choosing to be, to show he hasn't caved in all the way, to show he is in control.   But the more he does these things, while you choose to love as the dares teach, being patient and kind, will keep the door more fully open for Christ to work on him.

    Be patient, have no expectations, and remain patient and kind doing a dare a day, no more no less.

    It becomes harder to accept the sleeping wiht the back toward you when he shows a little kindness, and then goes back to ignoring you.  But this is when you have to remain in what you have learned, building your consistent testimony, especially when his roller coaster is still going up and down.

  • Thanks Tim.  Even though this is round 2.  There is still so much to learn from the dares.  But based on some of my journal entries from round 1, this time is a little tougher all around.  

  • Hey Elk, you are on the right path.  It is hard when they are just distant and you are trying everything.  I am in a similar situation.  Glad that your son is home on leave.  I know you are so proud of him.  Prayers to you.

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