Collaborate without boundaries


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Today was just BAD!  I got a phone call from my 15year olds school.  He's been acting out, being disruptive and disrespectful.  It's getting to the point that there will be a meeting next week to "discuss".  One of his teachers that he connects with told me that there have been talks of kicking him out of school.  My son has always been a handful and we go through a short lived issue every school year but this seems different.  He's a smart kid.  Some call him a true Leader.  Why then??  I talked with my son after school.  He of course is scared.  He loves his school, his friends, teammates.  He has to get his act together.  I'm going to see the counselor at the Church next week and will have her talk with my son as well.  I have made her aware of his situation.  Maybe it will be good for him to talk with someone other than me as his Dad, my husband barely spoke to any of us this evening.  

We went to dinner, and my husband was on his phone the whole time.  We met at the restaurant and while we were ordering dessert to go, my husband got up and said he would see us at home.  He wasn't interested in waiting with us.  After we got home he went to the spare room for the night, only coming up to get his pillow and phone charger.  I asked him if anything happened today to cause his mood and change in him sleeping in the spare room again.  He said nothing happened.  He clearly did not want to talk so I let it go.  I did not complete the dare for the day which was to ask him to pray together.  I just couldn't do it.  I failed.  

Im so mad at him right now.  Not just for what he's doing to me but what he's NOT doing as a parent.   I'm so stressed out.  Worried about my son and his school, worried about my other son in the military.  We still have a lot of packing to do for the move.  I just want this to be over.  I don't know how much more I can take this. God help me. God help my family.  God help my husband. 

  • Somehow, when there is too much going on, to much to do, to much for one person to handle, it all falls in place, somehow.  

    Even if the 15 yr old has to go to another school, God can use that to wake him up to what he is doing.  Or maybe a teacher/councelor there will be able to make headway.  

    Trust Christ will use all of this for the good for you, somehow.  He does this for those that love Him.

    So you didn't do the dare.  It is good you acknowledge that.  But next round, think back to this, and see that you had many things you could have prayed with him about, the move, the son in school, the son in the military.  And next time you see an opening, just say a quick prayer out loud when he is with you.  

    When you just can't do a dare, realize you are putting more of yourself into the stress that you feel vs the trust you have the Christ is right there for you.  

    Moments like these will build endurance in you in Christ, when you continue to seek Him like you are doing.

  • Hang in there Elk.  My son was 14 when my husband decided to leave the first time.  He got kicked out of Catholic school although my husband will not take any responsibility for the pain he caused me and our son during that time.  Fast forward 2 years later and or son is finishing high school a year and half early. He is graduating from military school so I'm just saying all things work together for the good.

  • Also my husband wold spend hours alone just playing solitaire on his phone.  Could your husband be going through a mid-life crisis?

  • Candie-

    It is definitely a mid-life crisis.  He doesn't deny it.  All of his arguments for a separation are selfish fantasies of how he thinks he wants his life.  No marriage.  Just being a bachelor.  Doing his own things, having his own stuff, etc. he struggles with this because he knows it's selfish and everyone, including his family will tell him that.  Oh some people may tell him to his face that they understand some of his thoughts but behind his back will say that he's crazy.  I told his from the start that if he goes through with a D, he will regret it.  I pray that doesn't happen.  I'm trying to love him through this, love my kids through this love myself through this and love My God through this.  Thanks for your continued support.


  • I am so sorry about your evening Elk.  He is in agreement that it is a "mid-life crisis" because for whatever reason, people feel that gives them justification to act out selfishly and do whatever they want.  This is a great opportunity for you though.  The opportunity to trust in God's plan whatever it may be.  I have a great person that I am able to be open and confide in with my truest emotions.  He told me that when I worry it is because I am not fully and completely trusting in God, that I am taking away His glory because of not trusting Him in His plan for us.

    Heavenly Father, I pray that You would guide Elk in everything she does.  That You would put Your loving arms around her and comfort her in her time of need.  Lord I pray that You would bring this family together with You at the center of their marriage and that you would give them guidance for their children.  Let Your love overflow in her heart, give her the peace and joy you promise to those who believe in You.  Bless her family abundantly and build a hedge of protection around her to keep her family safe.  I pray that she would receive the response of peace by Your Holy Spirit as she humbles herself to Your hand and that You will give her the grace she needs according to Your precious promises.  In Jesus name we pray.

  • Thank you Sunny.  Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and prayer.

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