Collaborate without boundaries
  • September 21, 2018

    I'm so tired of saying this never ends. I did get very depressed last night for the first time in a long time. I even stared at a bottle of pills for a few minutes. Just getting so sick of the never-ending chaos. Caleb (17) even apologized to me and...
  • September 20, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    Oh my Lord. It's been almost three months since she divorced me against my will. I wore my wedding band for six weeks after that and finally took it off. With everything that has happened I really should hate this woman with as much (or more) passion...
  • September 19, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    She texted me a bunch of times last night while I was asleep. I woke up because my phone was buzzing and she was going on about telling the kids about our finances and how it is wrong and how she is going to make a spreadsheet to show them what her bills...
  • September 18, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    It was a quiet day yesterday. I spent most of the evening catching up on washing clothes. I worked a little on prepping the girl's room for their waterbed. Made dinner then sat down with Caleb (17) to watch Monday Night Football. I slept fairly well...
  • September 17, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I made it through the weekend. She texted me a couple times, not about the kids, so I didn't respond. I would respond yes or no but every time I do it's like it opens up a window that tells her we are best friends and we can talk about anything...
  • September 14, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    The central air unit broke yesterday so its 85 degrees in the house. The kids and I are so uncomfortable. It's probably going to take a few days to fix because parts have to be ordered. To spite this I slept pretty well last night. I only woke up...
  • September 13, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    I had a flood of emotions this morning. I dropped Allison (6) off at school and on the way to work I just burst into tears. I started thinking that I should have been dropping off Eden (4) also, her little sister we were set to adopt that we lost in 2016...
  • September 12, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    Back to no sleep last night. I woke up a dozen times, each time thinking about her. I wish I didn't but it's impossible not to. No contact is the best thing I can do right now. All animosity between us needs to die and I feel like it could take...
  • September 11, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    I slept through the whole night last night! For the fourth time in the last year and a half. It may have had something to do with only getting three hours of sleep the night before or it could be, like the last time I actually slept well, I heard news...
  • September 10, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    This weekend started out so good. I took the four girls and headed to the beach. We had so much fun... until late Sunday night. We stayed with my sister and the girls and I got back late Saturday night after we went and grabbed a bite to eat. I didn't...
  • September 7, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    I'm trying to become completely neutral. I can't keep up this anger. I just can't. I read a quote that said "We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." God I just need to just...
  • September 6, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    I just can't do it. I can't communicate with this woman. Ever since I sent her a text telling her I would work on communicating about the children she has texted me things about taxes and car registrations, silly things about the kids shoes, just...
  • September 4, 2018

    • 8 Comments
    The struggle continues.......... Becca (15) was acting very strange Saturday evening. She had a friend over and came and told me her mom was going to pick them up to go eat Chinese then she was going to spend the night at her house. Immediate red flag...
  • August 31, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I woke up at 3:00 in the morning and didn't get back to sleep until about 5:00. The devil was putting an oldie in my head- images of her being intimate with her boyfriend. I guess she's divorced and has every right to do this according to the...
  • August 30, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    I barely slept last night. Tossed and turned and I've begun to give up on wondering why. I've slept through the night three days in the last year and a half. How long is this going to continue? It's hard to believe the things that happen in...
  • August 29, 2018

    • 6 Comments
    I was told the hardest thing I would have to do is talk to her after all of this. It's true. After I texted her she started bombarding my phone with updates on the kids. Ninety percent of it was things I already knew though. I feel like I regret texting...
  • August 28, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I sent her a text yesterday that said i apologize for not directly communicating with her about the kids and their schedules and that I would try to improve that in the coming weeks. She responded a little while later saying she would appreciate that...
  • August 27, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    Traveling back to Chicago today then heading home tomorrow. I'm highly considering moving to some place like Arkansas within the next eighteen months. There is so much drama in my town surrounding me and I need to get away from it. I got a ticket...
  • August 26, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    I've been in Searcy, Arkansas for the last couple days on a little spiritual vacation with Kyle. He wanted me to get away from my life for a little bit and experience the world down here. It's been very calm. We are heading to church services...
  • August 23, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    Working on forgiveness. I wrote the letter of things she needs to do to help me out. I let her know the exact dates I would be out of town so the girls would be taken care of. It's a start. I typed it because I don't even want her to see my handwriting...
  • August 22, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    The feedback yesterday from Josh, Tim, and Sean is priceless. I know and I understand what you guys are saying but I just can't get there. The pain is too intense. The resentment too much. I'm terrified though because I know God requires me to...
  • August 21, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    Caleb (17) saw his mom for the first time in months on Monday. She had to give him a ride from his co-op job to the school. She asked him to go eat Chinese with her but he said no he just needed a ride. She promised him the Jetta we have but it's...
  • August 17, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I am trying to just make it through each day and cause no problems but I can't seem to be able to do that. Trinity has been living with me since the last court date to finalize the divorce on June 29, 2018 and last night she was telling me about her...
  • August 16, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    No idea what to do anymore. My kids seem as angry as me. The ones that live with me just talk so bad about her, even Nick (15) does whenever I see him. I tell them she is trying her best but they don't want anything to do with her except when she...
  • August 14, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I've been stuck in this grieving process. I'm still so angry! Denial ✔ Anger- Still there Bargaining ✔ Depression ✔ Acceptance- Getting there What this human being did to me has shattered my core. I still can't bring myself to communicate...
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