Collaborate without boundaries
  • November 15, 2018

    • 7 Comments
    This last week has been pretty bad. Nick (15) has seemingly just given up. He won't get up in the mornings to go to school when I stop by to pick him up. The social worker has been asking me what's wrong with him. I told the worker that he has...
  • November 6, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I didn't know what to write yesterday. I was a little upset because Amber texted me about Nick (15.) She said he wanted some wrestling shoes so he could start high school wrestling. Of course his grades aren't good enough but my thinking is if...
  • November 2, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    Seems like it's going to be a horrible day. Last night Becca (15) said she was going to stay at her mother's house. She had been on the phone with Trinity (14) so I guessed that they wanted to hang out with each other. So my abandonment issue...
  • November 1, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    Today would have been twenty years of marriage. Still is to me and God (I hope) but watching all of this around me is so difficult. The hurt someone can cause another person is just unimaginable until it's experienced, then it's too late. I don't...
  • October 31, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    Tomorrow would have been my twentieth wedding anniversary. This is harder than I though it would be. I actually didn't even think about it until this morning. Then I burst into tears. I got a book with 100 devotionals for women and a pin that says...
  • October 30, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    Yesterday as I was leaving work my coworker said he noticed that Amber changed her relationship status on Facebook. I didn't need to hear that. It was like twisting the knife that's already lodged in my heart. Then when I got home I was watching...
  • October 29, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    Pretty rough weekend. I didn't pay much attention in church Sunday because my mind kept wandering off. I kept thinking about how a couple years ago my whole family was sitting in the pew, all ten of us. I thought everything was fine but it wasn't...
  • October 26, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    It's strange after the comment yesterday that I was calling Amber a non-believer then I read 1 John 2:3 this morning- the next chapter in my reading order. "This is how we know Him: if we keep His commandments." That is what I have been...
  • October 25, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    Uneventful day yesterday, which was a relief. I was lazy and played games while Allison (6) slept. She hasn't been feeling good the last couple days. I missed church because I had to stay home with her. Becca (15) went to her mom's house to work...
  • October 24, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I'm doing well today. I'm continuing the pattern of reading a chapter a day in my Bible. 2 Peter chapter 3 is a good chapter talking about the second coming of Christ, which it seems about 90% of the word thinks is hogwash. It's very upsetting...
  • October 23, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    Yesterday I went to the gym with Caleb (17) and Becca (15) and had kind of a lazy workout. Allison (6) was with us and she was tired so we had to leave a little early. When I took Nick (15) to school yesterday morning he was high. I could smell weed all...
  • October 22, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I have been trying to live my life in silence and wait for my covenant wife to come to God on her own but sometimes I can't even do that because even in silence I seem to get the blame. Matthew 5:11 says Blessed are you when people insult you and...
  • October 19, 2018

    What to say today? I'm worried about my children. Trinity (14) has done such a bad thing. Using the situation to her advantage is immediately gratifying to her but what a terrible lesson she has learned. Then for Amber to buy her a new phone and a...
  • October 18, 2018

    • 6 Comments
    God gave me peace last night and I slept better than I have for a long time. It really feels like I've given everything to Him. We'll see in the next few weeks. There was still a lot of disturbing thing go on throughout the day though. Trinity...
  • October 17, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    Yesterday I had to do another 180 in the opposite direction. I finally have to listen to Tim. After all these months. When Tracey put up the thing yesterday comparing my covenant wife to the Prodigal Son I realized that it's my job to continue what...
  • October 16, 2018

    • 7 Comments
    Yesterday Becca (15) and Trinity (14) had dentist appointments. Since Trinity no longer lives with me I let Amber know and she made arrangements for her mom to take her. Becca texted me and said grandma would take her too so I didn't have to miss...
  • October 15, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    This weekend was, again, not a good weekend. Trinity (14) went with her mom on the Kings Island trip. I told her as long as the boyfriend went she was not allowed to go but she went anyway. Some people tell me I have no right to do that but my preacher...
  • October 12, 2018

    • 9 Comments
    I'm almost done with everything. What's the purpose of this battle? I'm fighting for what is right and what God would want but there's a person fighting for the exact opposite. My children don't believe in God. My wife left me and...
  • October 11, 2018

    • 4 Comments
    This morning there's no school in my county so I left Allison (6) home with Becca (15.) I no more than walked in the door at work and I get this from Amber (She just seems so bitter still): Amber: Are you dropping Allison off? Me: No Amber: Who's...
  • October 10, 2018

    • 1 Comments
    The last few days have not been good. The adopted kids asked to go see their bio parents over the weekend. I let them because it's impossible to keep them away in this day and age with social media and I want to help them know their parents. I think...
  • October 5, 2018

    • 5 Comments
    Where to start? Things are getting better but also more complicated. When I made up my mind to text Amber it opened up a door of some sort and I'm just not comfortable with it at all. She hurt me and nearly destroyed me but I feel like she thinks...
  • October 4, 2018

    • 3 Comments
    I had all the kids in church last night except Nick (15.) I messaged him but he never answered me. I did see his social media post (from Trinity(14)) that showed him asking for Juul pods. He said he would give someone $10 for one in school. His poor decisions...
  • October 3, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    Yesterday the girls went with Amber to get their nails done. They said they were going out to eat so I didn't make them any dinner but they got home really early. For some reason Amber didn't take them to eat. Then Trinity (14) told me the wildest...
  • October 2, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    I don't think I can get through this. I hope I can but it's so hard. I want my family to be whole again. I know it could be better than it ever was. I know how to be a Godly husband. I know how to be a Godly parent. I just don't have her on...
  • October 1, 2018

    • 2 Comments
    I made it through the weekend. Nick (15) had court Friday and it was postponed until October 10th. He asked if he could go with us on our road trip this weekend and I said he could. About ten minutes after we left Amber texted and emailed me and said...
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