How are things?

Caleb (18) has a 4.25 in school. Seems like things don't bother him. But, he rarely speaks with his mother. They only communicate when he needs something. I don't think that is good for either of them but she made a choice to walk out on the entire family and he made a choice to not have anything to do with her. I asked him to move back in with her for financial reasons and he said no. 

Becca (16) is doing everything divorce statistics say she will. She even lied to me, which my kids rarely ever do. She's not a bad kid by far. She has a 3.38 in school and only because she is struggling in one class but she is finding ways to hang around boys I do not know and using this situation to her benefit playing her mother to get what she wants. I'm afraid she is going to end up pregnant or worse and her mother doesn't really seem to care. I also asked her a couple weeks ago to move in with her mom and she said no. As recent as two day ago I told her if she doesn't start doing exactly as I say she will have to move in with her mom. She said she would not disobey me or lie to me anymore.

Nick (15) has been doing good since the court ordered him to live with me. He has been going to school and has listened very well. Nobody seems to understand how traumatic it was for him living with the person who physically abused him. He hates his mom with a passion. He wouldn't even send her a picture of the shoes he got for Christmas that she asked to see. He said "Screw her." He told social workers a couple weeks ago that he felt alone at his mom's house because all the kids live with me and she negated his feelings in that meeting by lying and saying he is not alone because she has the two youngest kids every other week and his three other siblings come to visit all the time. That is inaccurate because the older kids rarely ever go see her.

Trinity (14) has me more confused than any of the kids. When she got mad at me a few months ago and moved back over to her mom's I told her she couldn't come back if they got into it. Well, they didn't get into anything but she came back anyway. I'm not sure why. I even asked her and she didn't have an answer. It could have something to do with her grandpa (who is her mom's stepdad) possible saying/doing inappropriate things to her and her friend. They told me a few days before Christmas he was being perverted. She won't even go to her mom's house now even when Becca goes so I'm really not sure what has happened.

Aleigha (11) seems like a mess. She was told by her mother that she has to get rid of her puppy because she's not taking proper care of it after it peed on the floor. She asked me if it could stay at my house all the time but I rent and I'm not allowed to have another pet. Her mom suggested that and I feel like it was a way to try to make me look bad because I had to say no. I just don't have time to care for a puppy because I have all the other kids I have to care for. Then last night Aleigha called me and asked if I could take her to the hospital to visit her friend, who has diabetes and is in bad shape. On the way she told me things that had me so upset I can't even remember most of them. One was that she said she was in her room crying the other day when her mom came in and asked why she was crying. She was looking at pictures of the baby were were going to adopt that was taken from us after her mom beat her brother two years ago and said she missed her. She told me her mom said "You'll get over it" completely dismissing her feelings. Aleigha said she wants to come and live with me but unfortunately the court system forces her to split her time between me and her mother.

Allison (6) came to me Sunday evening when Becca was being dropped off and was crying. She said she missed me and wanted to stay with me. I told her she has to go spend time with mommy but she said she didn't want to. Aleigha told me her mom put Allison in her room the other day, turned the lights off and closed the door. Allison was scared but her mom didn't seem to care. Allison also told me she took an old Christmas ornament with a picture of me and her mom on it and hung it up in her bedroom. She wants her parents back together and I still don't think she fully understands what is happening.

Me? I'm not doing well. I miss my family. I miss being able to properly take care of my kids. I hate that they are living in this tiny rental house. I hate that I can't buy them good food and clothes. I can't actually make it much longer financially and that's why my attorney is filing a motion to get more child support since the kids spend the majority of their time with me. He's also filing a motion to hold her in contempt for not complying with the court order to get my name off all the finances. I don't want to do this to her but I can't survive if something doesn't change soon. I hate everything the devil has done to my family.