Christmas recap:

I didn't have a tree, didn't have enough money to buy my older kids anything for Christmas (I got the two youngest a few things) and I didn't have Christmas dinner. Who would want to spend their time with me?

Caleb (18) stayed at his mom's house Christmas eve because he had some friends in town from college that he wanted to play games with and he needed a bigger place than our rental house. He said she wasn't there anyway and gave me all kinds of excuses why he was staying there. The next morning he came home at 9:00 am with the presents she got him.

Then at 11:30 am the Becca (16) and Trinity (14) told me they had to go over to her house to get their presents. She said they had to come now or they wouldn't get them. They wanted her to drop them off at our house but she said no (because she had to get fake family pictures to post on Facebook so she can pretend she is a good mother.) I took them over there and thirty minutes later they called me to come get them. I assumed they would be there most of the day but they didn't want to stay. They complained about that entire thirty minutes they were there once they got back. They said she was trying to get them to go to her boyfriend's house for a big Christmas dinner. They told her no and then spent the rest of the day with me. I picked Aleigha (11) and Allison (6) up at 3:00 pm and we went to watch The Grinch then came home and watched The Christmas Chronicles on Netflix and Trinity said "You know this is something we are always going to remember. Mom doesn't get that. She doesn't do anything like this with us." Pretty profound for a teenager.

The sickest part of the whole weekend was when Trinity (who is adopted) said grandpa (who is my ex's stepdad) was saying inappropriate things to her and her friend. He told them he had glitter on his underwear because he had been getting blowjobs from elves. I said "WHAT??? Why would he say that?" They said he was joking with them. They said he and grandma were also joking about grandma putting guacamole on his penis and sucking it off. I said "That's sick, why would they be telling teenagers that?" Then Trinity's friend, who is fifteen, said he was touching her leg and she was trying to get away but he was holding on to her. Trinity asked him why he was doing that and he said because she was his girlfriend. This sicko is like 65 years old. I told my Jessica (20) about it. She's my foster daughter, and she said he used to slap her on the butt all the time. I asked her why she never told me and she said she didn't think I would believe her. Now, if I tell this stuff to anyone they will say I'm a bitter ex trying to get revenge because the things I've said before about abuse made me look stupid because when questioned the kids weren't honest because they are afraid they will get taken away again like they were two years ago when their mother beat their brother, Nick (15) into the emergency room. I told the girls to stay as far away from him as possible.

This got me to thinking that since he is not the biological dad to my ex what if he did this crap to her? The therapists that we have both talked to in the past told me they feel like something traumatic happened to her during her childhood. I told them as far as I know she had a perfect childhood but what if this guy is a sick human being that is a sexual predator?

I've got to move away from here and get my children away from all this insanity.