Collaborate without boundaries

October 12, 2018

  • Comments 9

I'm almost done with everything. What's the purpose of this battle? I'm fighting for what is right and what God would want but there's a person fighting for the exact opposite. My children don't believe in God. My wife left me and obviously doesn't believe because she refuses to obey anything biblical. I'm just stuck in between it all, trying to pray every time something happens and asking for strength. I get strength and assurance but this never ends. Amber just continues to push our children toward evil and thinks nothing of it. I remained silent for almost two years but recently I have started to "preach" to her. I make mistakes and say things I shouldn't but it's frustrating to watch her walk with the devil. The mother of my children, who kept me in church for years, just turned her back on everything. She won't even admit that what she did is wrong. She says she talked to and confided in a guy that she ends up with after she leaves me and she thinks that is acceptable. She doesn't understand the message it sends our children. She can't even admit she had, at a minimum, an emotional affair that turned into more.

I even put back all of my pride and told the kids to go and have fun with her this weekend at Kings Island but I also told them to stay away from the other man because as their father I have the right to do that. I would not let my children hang out with drug dealers or murderers so why would I allow them to hang out with an adulterer? I don't even want them with their mother for the same reason. They can respect her but they do not have to accept her sin if she won't repent. Caleb (17) and Becca (15) said they are not going because they do not want to, even though I told them they should go. I honestly don't want them to but I'm trying to love unconditionally. You preach to sinners but you don't hang out with them if they continue in sin. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says "Do not be deceived, 'Bad company ruins good morals." When my kids are with her they are in bad company. God have mercy on me. How can I navigate this mess without just walking away? How do you fight for someone who is adamantly against everything you stand for?

Becca has a doctors appointment today and the doctor's office called me yesterday and told me they won't be able to see her after today unless her balance is paid. I have paid my 30% each month but for some reason Amber has not been paying her 70%. Now there is a past due balance. I don't understand because Amber has a lot more money than me. She doesn't even have a car payment because the boyfriend lets her use one of his cars. I just don't understand what she is doing with her money. I got a final warning from DirecTV that they are going to turn my name over to collections because she let the balance go up to almost $700 and hasn't paid it. I've never missed a bill in my life. My want is for God to just take me from this world, however I know that He has a plan for me. I just don't know if I can make it. 

  • FOCUS ON YOU! Take your eyes off of her and her sins. Praying about everything is all you can do at this point. You actually don't have the right to keep the kids from Amber or Marcus, simply because you're not perfect and most importantly YOU'RE NOT JESUS. You can't save anyone but you. You cannot control anyone's actions but yours.

  • Each time I read your posts all I can thi k of is look at that self righteous spirit. Eddie, listen to Tim. He's told you some good advice. Again, take your eyes off of her and what she's doing and put them on you. Her sins and crosses are hers to bare. This whole situation has to run its course. When God gets tired of her mess he will put an end to it.

  • Right now, God cannot move for you because you are all holier than though. I read your post the other day and was floored at how you respond to Amber. Like you're so much better than her. Take heed how you look down on her because you are subject to fall just as hard as her if you're not careful.

    Work on you. Leave her to God. And stop preaching to her. All she needs from you right now is unconditional love.

  • Stop bring up the past and stop pointing out what she's doing now. You should be ready and willing to forgive her every moment of every day. 70 times seven into the sea of forgetfulness.

  • Tessy makes a lot of good points.   if I remember, I mentioned let her go in a sense.  The very next day I think it was your mother that told you the same thing. And what she said clicked according to your entry.  Now Tessy is saying the same thing.  I think you have to let her go without letting go of the being patient and kind and willing in agape love and forgiveness and be ready to take her back if/when she's ready to come back.

  • And at least the way I have been reading your journals, you are coming across preachy, and not in a good way.  

    I admit, I detested protestants for a long time.  Maybe up until I came on this site.  Because the only interaction they started with me concerning Christ or religion came across to me as they were more holier than thou.

  • With what they said.  It turned me off, not of God, but from listening to them trying to share Jesus.  

    Everything I am saying isn't meant to be rude.  But it will/is coming across that way. So, my apologies on that.  

    So, you gave her two measly little years.   How many did God give you to come back?  25 years?  I know, two years feels like forever.  But, just do this.  Stay in this standing for her.  Without doing anything but showing kindness and patience.  Giving her space.  And, when you have the endurance of Christ to hang in there for a lifetime as you said you would, then choose whether you should let it all go or not.  

    Develop some endurance.  let go of your will of her changing and cling deeper into God's will.

  • So the kids don't believe in God...They may say that, but may not really mean it.  But, if you give up, will that solidify their non belief?  Do you want that on your soul when you meet Jesus?  

    Eddie, I know how hard it can get. There's no doubt.  I know I would have made so many mistakes without this site that she'd be long gone.  Hang in there bud, even if it's a half a thread you're holding onto. That will suffice if you allow God to hold onto the other end of that piece of thread.  And in time, that thread will become string, the string a rope, and the rope a 3 corded rope. Didn't you teach us that a rope of three is stronger than a single rope?  

    You can do it.  Go moment by moment if needed.  Force some major rejoicing when your in the deepest part of the pit.  

  • Isn't there something biblical about a justified husband or wife covers the sins of his/her spouse?  if so, cover her.  You can save her if you are in fear of her soul.  

    to anyone that considers themselves to be protestant. My apologies.  I do not think this way of protestants now.  I somehow came across several in a row that probably were trying there best to be a witness to Christ, but it just didn't go well.  and it probably says much about how negative I am/was and nothing about them.  So, please don't take offense.  

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