Collaborate without boundaries

October 11, 2018

  • Comments 4

This morning there's no school in my county so I left Allison (6) home with Becca (15.) I no more than walked in the door at work and I get this from Amber (She just seems so bitter still):

Amber: Are you dropping Allison off?

Me: No

Amber: Who's watching her?

Me: Becca

Amber: Does she want to keep her all day or just this morning?

Me: She's taken care of. You don't have to worry.

Amber: The court orders say my moms supposed to provide child care.

Me: Turn me in, Put me in jail. Take my kids away. I've done nothing wrong. Did you pray this morning? I prayed for you. And him. Some day you'll see I love you more than anyone you've surrounded yourself with. The Bible says if you resist the devil he will flee. The devil tells you it's ok to get divorced, it's ok to be with another man, it's ok to drink and get drunk. It's all lies though. He's the father of lies. You've got to resist. I only fight for you because I know you're a good person caught up in bad things. You went to church forever. You know this stuff. I think you are worth saving. Otherwise I would just give up. You've got to stop looking at the bad in me and look at some of the good. I'm not perfect but I believe in God above everything else. That's a good quality. Pointing out your sins is the most loving thing I can do for you. I had a theological discussion about what you and I talked about the other night. I'm in the right. I'm the only moral compass your children have right now. Satan is working on you to take that away. Resist!!! You can do it.

***I shouldn't have said I'm in the right. I should have said I'm not wrong about what I'm doing.***

I talked to my preacher last night in church about her saying she would like to sit down with him so he can tell me I'm doing wrong and he said she doesn't want to hear what he has to say, but then he said this would be a good opportunity to bring her back to the church. I also told him that whenever I say anything to her about doing something wrong herself she says I'm judging her. He said judgement is sometimes necessary to bring people to God. It just needs to be done gently with a pure heart.

I also talked to Becca last night about going to Kings Island with her mom and the boyfriend this weekend. I told her to go and have fun but she said no. That's the third time I've asked her this week. She just refuses. So God knows I did my best. If only he would reveal this to Amber somehow so she would stop thinking I'm plotting against her.

I am working on the bitterness and learning to let it go. The past is the past. I really thought about her texts from the other day in which she said my actions speak louder than words and she sees me preventing the kids from spending time with her. It's not true but it's what she perceives so I will make an effort to clearly show that I am trying to get the kids to go do things with her. 

I told Becca that her mom may call about Allison being home with her and she said she isn't going to answer if she does call. I told her all she needed to do is tell her mom or whoever calls that Allison is being taken care of. Becca babysits for other people so she is perfectly capable of watching her sister.

  • Maybe it's just me, maybe I am reading the texts wrong.  But, to me, you are the one that sounds bitter.  The testimony you've built is not being reflected in your words.  

    Your first response is:  No.  Why not say something like I appreciate you offering to help, but Becca is happy to watch her.

    Then when you say she's taken care of, you don't have to worry.    could that have been phrased a little kinder?  

  • Then the  Turn me in, Put me in jail. Take my kids away.   Those comments to me just sound childish.  Like your throwing a  temper tantrum.  yes, she's short but why follow what looks like an outburst.

  • Then this.... Did you pray this morning? I prayed for you. And him.  

    To me this sounds condescending.  It sounds like your breaking your arm patting yourself on the back while mocking her at the same time.  

    Maybe I am the only one that sees this this way.  But really try to show kindness and patience in your wording.  You're actions are showing it, let your words do the same.

  • I don't feel bitter. I just feel like I'm waiting on her but I have to deal with all this evil too. It's frustrating to watch someone just continue in sin and I haven't said anything for over a year but I feel like I need to tell her what is real. That her soul is in danger. What if she dies next week and I never said anything to her? I would feel terrible. I think I got a little condescending because she always does that to me. I wanted her to know I'm in a good place, a better place than her. This hasn't gotten any better for two years. I can't just continue like this. I need to start speaking up.

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