Collaborate without boundaries

July 24, 2018

  • Comments 6

I received papers from my attorney in the mail. I guess the d is final. Now I have to continue somehow with a huge burden. My wife has a boyfriend, which is unscriptural, and I can never tell our kids that it is okay. This is the guy I accused her of cheating with 1 1/2 years ago. She denied it. Now he's the boyfriend. The kids asked me if she thinks they are stupid. I tell them I have no idea what she thinks. So I will be looked at by the world as a bad person who paints my wife in a negative picture because I support the Bible. They asked me if mom can marry him and I said not according to the Bible. They said what happens if she does. I said that's for God to decide but the Bible tells us it is a sin.

The kids wanted to go to our local junior fair yesterday so Trinity (14) called her mom and asked her for money to go. She told her she would drop off money later once she left her boyfriend's. So Trinity shares that information with me. I told Trinity that I don't need to know things like that and asked her to stop telling me about her mom and her mom's boyfriend. Trinity and Nick (15) told me he's a nice guy. They said he just got divorced also and he and my wife have been talking to each other throughout this whole process so I can only assume they each have a part in destroying the other's marriage. The good doctor told Nick that my wife used to call him at night crying about how bad her life was and they helped each other through it. I told Trinity and Nick that no matter how nice he is, he got involved with a married woman and that is absolutely wrong. I told them the second he and their mom felt like their professional relationship was going any further than that they should have stopped and told each other to go talk to their spouse. I will never condone what they did to our kids.

Some different conversations came up with the kids yesterday. Very disturbing stuff. They told me that grandma (my wife's mom) got drunk one night and told them a story of her putting guacamole on grandpa's penis and sucking it off. I just shuddered. To have to deal with this kind of nonsense is ridiculous. Grandparents should have much more respect for their grandkids and themselves than this. Last night their grandma started a group chat with Trinity and Becca (15) and kept bugging them about why they hate her. They showed me and it appeared that she was drunk. They both left the conversation after a few minutes because they told her they don't hate her and they don't want to deal with the drama.

Jessica (19) who is my former foster daughter, posted some stuff on Facebook about my wife. She is very angry at what my wife has done because Allison (5) is her biological sister. It's a fact that my wife has abused our children and we are afraid she will hurt Allison, like when we stopped by Sunday and my wife was home alone with Allison and drunk. It's a legitimate concern that the courts don't care about. My wife's sister, Vicky, has been commenting on Jessica's Facebook posts saying that Jessica doesn't know the truth. Vicky is brainwashed right now. She knows my wife's side of the story but not mine or any of the kids. She thinks I am a terrible person and my wife is okay in what she has done. She professes to be a Christian so I gave Jessica some scripture to use whenever Vicky starts trying to defend my wife. A true Christian would not support divorce or adultery. Sorry but that's how it is.

  • Eddie, all I can offer is my prayers for you. This is above what I can comment on.

  • Bret, appreciate it. Man, this is so difficult. Not so much for me but we have six children. They are in ruins. Mom is a cheater. They don't want anything to do with her. The Bible says they have to respect her. They won't. They want to live with me but she is trying to legally force them to do things they don't want to do. I'm not sure if there is ever an end to this.

  • Eddie, let me encourage you to make some changes to what you say, instead of saying she is a cheater say she screwed up, instead of their mom, say my wife. I know it must be hard to understand what is happening, but we are called to love, and in James 4 we are not even to speak evil of one another. it is right to call out sin for what it is. Maybe encourage your kids to pray with you for your wife. Praying for you brother

  • Man, it's jarring to me to just hear that you got the papers in the mail.  Thank God you've grown in Christ so much in this trial to handle this.

    The kids can honor their mother but not her actions.  Maybe like if you don't like this president or the last president, you can honor the office of the presidency but not honor what you think the president or past president did is wrong.  Not sure if this line of thinking  makes sense or is right.  

    and honoring her doesn't mean they have to listen or spend time with her or the grandparents when they are spouting off crud like they do at times.  Maybe honoring her is also letting her know she is not having honorable actions when they shut her out while she's being dishonorable.  Again, I could be off base.  

  • People justify the best they can what their heart and emotions lead them to do.  but as you lead your heart and follow Christ they may mock and ridicule but often they really know you are in the right.  and that burns them up, and brings  out more attacks on your stance.  Keep standing for what is right.

    Josh has some  good points of word changes.  

    The labels nice guy, good doctor.  Even the most vile serial killer has  a nice quality or two.  This doctor is not good or nice.  Nice guys do not commit adulty.  He sinned against himself, you, your  wife, and  his wife.  He brought evil to 4 people in this one sin.  So many more when you count the children.

  • but don't paint him to be an ugly monster to your kids.  

    maybe, just maybe, you supplying scripture to Jessica to use may sway her to consider  believing in God.

    It's  amazing how many people are agnostic or atheist.  I had always assumed it was such a tiny percentage of people.  but  they don't realize it takes faith for them to believe in their beliefs like we need faith to believe in God.

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