Collaborate without boundaries

July 23, 2018

  • Comments 4

Saturday my wife came to my house to pick up Allison (5) and I let my emotions get the best of me. She was in a car provided by her boyfriend because her car broke down. I was standing in the middle of my yard and I told her I didn't want her boyfriend around Allison because I am trying to bring her up right and her being around a man that slept with a married woman is not the kind of person I want her around. I said he is an adulterer and not a good person. She just got a blank look on her face and got in the car and left, leaving Allison's luggage sitting in the street. In hindsight, I should not have said any of this to her. I talked to Nick (15) and Trinity (14) later when I went to get my things at her house. I have twenty days to get all of my guns and tools. Trinity had been over there hanging out. They said she came home and said I got in her face and threatened her and she was afraid I was going to kill her. I had witnesses that can prove I wasn't anywhere near her and I was speaking to her calmly.

Later she texted me and asked if she could keep Allison an extra day since she let me have her an extra day this week. She said that would be fair and reasonable. I told her it wasn't fair or reasonable to cheat on me but she could keep Allison an extra day. Then she had the nerve to ask me to help pay off her broke-down car so we could give it to Caleb (17.) I told her I have spent so much money defending myself against her lies and false accusations this past year that I can barely afford to feed our kids. About an hour later I got a call from the police saying that she reported me for harassment and I need to stop saying things to her that don't concern the kids. So I told them I'm done. I'm not communicating with her period.

Sunday, after church, I took Caleb to spend a couple weeks with his aunt and uncle. They live a couple hours away. Becca (15) Nick (15) Trinity (14) and Trinity's friend, Abby (15) went with us. When we got there I talked to my sister-in-law, April- the youngest sister, and she said no one has told her anything about what is going on in months. She said my wife hasn't talked to her in two months. So I talked with her for a couple hours and updated her on my side of the story. I was sure to tell her that I'm not perfect and I've made many mistakes but her sister cheated on me with the guy who is now her boyfriend and everyone knows it, even her parents. This has been going on since at least January of 2017 when I noticed her talking to him on our phone records. I said in my opinion that no matter what happened cheating is not acceptable. She agreed and told me I was a better person than her because she would have walked away a long time ago. I told her that my faith won't allow me to do that, I still love my wife and I still pray for her.

On the drive home the kids talked a lot about things that have happened in the last few months. They have been mostly separated from each other and were putting their stories together. I learned a lot from listening to those conversations. Nick was really misinformed. He said my wife has been painting me as a monster and he believed what she was saying for a long time, but then says she assaulted him Monday. The police told me that he was yelling and acting out and there were respectable witnesses there that confirmed that it was his fault and my wife was a victim. Nick's story is quite different. He says the adults gave him alcohol and let him get drunk. The adults say they have no idea how he got drunk. I don't know what to believe. He said he was stepping out of the pool when my wife grabbed him around the neck and tried to drag him into the house. He said she was telling him that she controls him and he will do what she says. He pushed her off and started yelling that she can't keep doing things like this. He was trying to explain to the other adults there that she has been doing this for years but no one would believe him. Then the adults started saying that he said he was going to kill himself, which he denies saying. Trinity was called by a neighbor who saw police there so she went to see what was going on. She said Nick's neck was bleeding and his knee was cut up. She took pictures but when I talked to the police they said they didn't see anything. I'm so confused. My wife and her boyfriend left after the police took Nick to my house and got a mental hygiene on him. They tried to get him put in a mental institution. He's such a confused kid right now. Trinity said she believes what Nick was saying because for a week or so my wife has been sending her messages on Snapchat that she controls her and that Trinity needs to do what she says. Trinity said what Nick was saying sounded exactly like what my wife has been saying to her.

My wife texted all the kids yesterday and asked them to go to Kings Island with her and her boyfriend in a couple weeks. All of them told her no thanks. She texted Trinity on the way back from dropping Caleb off so Trinity called her. My wife asked what we were doing and Trinity told her we were on our way to her house to pick Nick's things up because he was coming to stay with me for a while. When we got there my wife stepped out the front door and was stumbling. She was drunk. She looked at me and smiled and told Becca, who was sitting in the car with me, to come to her but Becca shook her head no. While the kids were going back and forth bringing things to the car they told me she was so drunk she couldn't stand up in the house. They said she was tripping over furniture and leaning against the walls. At one point they said she went up to her bed and laid down and started crying. I told them there's nothing we can do for her and got everything and left. We had to go back a little while later because Nick forgot something. So Nick, Trinity and Abby went back with me. They went in to get what he forgot and they said my wife was sitting in the kitchen crying her eyes out. They asked her what was going on and she said she doesn't understand why none of them want to be with her. She told them they don't understand what I've done to her over the years. I told them that I don't even know what I've done because I've never hurt her. I told them that they have seen the truth over the last year and she is going to have to deal with this on her own. I told them I've tried as hard as any person can and there's just no way to help her. She can only help herself. Trinity stayed in a little longer than the other kids to talk to her and said she told my wife if she's so upset to call her boyfriend and talk to him but my wife said something like she doesn't know if it's going to work with him because she's afraid if she continues that I will kill them. SHE'S TRYING TO BLAME ME FOR A POSSIBLE END TO HER ADULTEROUS RELATIONSHIP! I wouldn't hurt a flea but she keeps telling our kids that she thinks I'm going to kill her and is now afraid I'm going to kill her boyfriend.

I feel truly sorry for my wife but it was an actual relief to see some weakness in her. She is beginning to see what is really happening. I didn't feel like praying last night but I did anyway. I prayed for her. Not as fervent as I usually do but I did. Then I slept very well. The first time in months I have slept the whole night. Then this morning I woke up and went to my knees and I thanked God for everything this week. I asked forgiveness for my sins also, which have been many this week. I thanked Him for the weakness I saw in my wife. I've thought that her heart was hardened to the point of no return but I see that He is working on her. I need to keep calm and remain patient and let Him to continue to work.

  • The old her has surfaced a tiny bit.  See, she's still in there.  You're walk is what allowed her to surface.  Man, she's really pushing it.  Everything comes to the extreme.  Nick going g to kill himself.  You going to kill them.  She's going to be seen as the boy who cried wolf.

  • The world like your sister in law see your testimony.

  • She is at the point of braking Eddie, now is the time to pray even harder, don't stop. It reminds me of Facing the Giants when the coach as the team Capitan do the death crawl, Don't Quit!!  

  • I have to agree, stay strong no matter how hard it is. You have God in your corner and He is capable of taking down any obstacle when He feels it is right.

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