Collaborate without boundaries

June 13, 2018

  • Comments 6

Yesterday was a busy day. I picked the girls up, then Becca needed a ride, then I had to head home and make a quick dinner before Vacation Bible School. The girls had a blast at church. Afterward, I had a coupon for buy one get one free blizzard at Dairy Queen so they really liked that.

I did get a message from Trinity right before I dropped the girls off that said my wife was having problems with her car tires. She said my wife asked if I could keep the girls a while longer. I would have loved to but my attorney said there is no circumstance that I can disobey that court order. He specifically said that my wife has no authority over the court order and if she attempts to do something like that I am to document it and continue to do what the court order says. So I told Trinity I could not keep them but I knew I couldn't just drop a five year old off alone so I pulled up outside the house and just sat in the car with them until my wife pulled up about ten minutes late. So it really wasn't that late at all. To me it's no big deal but I do have to let my attorney know that this happened in order to keep myself out of any kind of possible legal trouble. When my wife reports me for harassment for sending her a church invite it's hard to tell what else she is capable of.

Becca had a friend staying with her and asked me if we could go stargazing. Every now and then we take a blanket and drive outside of town and lay on top of the car talking and watching the stars. I told her we could but it was really cloudy. She said she didn't care because she just likes to talk. We were out until about 11pm then she asked me if I could drop her off at "her moms" so she could go swimming. She told me the only reason she goes over there is for the pool, otherwise she would never go. I told her she didn't have to explain anything to me. I told her that it's important that she enjoy life and it won't bother me one bit if she wants to hang out with her mom. That's the right thing to say but it was a lie. It was a sin. It does bother me because I don't want my kids to be influenced by evil. My wife honestly thinks there is nothing wrong with anything she has done. That's the presence of evil. I know I told Becca what she needs to hear from a worldly perspective and it is what the court would want to hear but I feel like I should be able to tell her that her mom is doing wrong. She should still hang out with her because maybe that's what it will take to bring her back to God but the truth is the truth. I shouldn't have to hide it. I struggle with this.

Our lesson in Bible School was about the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears. Her sins were forgiven because of her faith while Jesus rebuked Simon, the homeowner where He was eating because he seemed to have little faith. We need to show love above all else, to everyone, no matter how much of a sinner they are. I need to figure out a way to show my wife love without violating this court order. She will report anything that she deems harassment so I have to be very careful. The only thing I can really do is just pray for her. I'm sure it makes her angry when she asks me to violate the court order and I wont but what else can I do? If I go to jail then what will become of our children. I struggle with this also.

Trinity, who just turned 14, found out that we went to Bible School yesterday. I'm sure she found out that a couple of her friends were there so she texted me and said she wants to go next time. When I dropped the girls off she came out and gave me a hug.

I read an article by Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages) last night and put it on my war room wall. When I read anything written by him I just think how easy marriage really is if two mature adults just focus on it. Put God first and communicate with each other. There's no reason why any marriage should die. It's not God's way. It's sad to see the divorce rate so high in America. It's even more sad to see that it just as high in those who claim to be Christians. I'm sorry but  Christian does not get divorced. A Christian follows the Bible and the Bible promotes marriage, not divorce. Christians need to step back and take a look at this. We need to open our eyes. Divorce is a sin. It is abhorred by the Bible (God hates divorce), it has been tolerated by man, now it is widely accepted and becoming all too common.

I watched a video last night of a guy from California who made people aware of a bill California is trying to pass that would make it a crime to do anything to promote someone's sexual orientation change. (i.e. Don't tell someone homosexuality is a sin) How this will affect the sale of the Bible is unknown. California has gotten to the point of embracing homosexuality (A sin.) Divorce is not far behind. I believe it is getting that bad. No fault divorce is the silliest thing man has ever come up with and in direct contradiction to the Bible. The guy also pointed out that it just shows that we are getting closer and closer to the return of Christ so while it looks bad it's something good for s Christians will come out of it. I just pray that my wife changes before Christ returns.

I was up late last night talking to my former foster daughter Jessica, who is now 19. She calls me dad and I still take care of her like she is my own and I always will. I ended up oversleeping for work. She's disappointed with my wife. She doesn't talk to my wife anymore and it's sad. She lived a life of pure hell and my wife and I were the only solid thing she had ever had when we got her at age 16. Then that all blew up the night my wife snapped and beat our son. Life for us all has been horrific since then. The damage just continues to pile up all around my wife. I pray that it stops at some point. I wish I could do something besides just sit back and watch. It's like a nuclear fallout.

I'm not blaming my wife for everything. I'm just stating facts. I was responsible for helping push my wife to that point. I let the devil influence me. I share the blame for everything that has happened. I have confessed my sins to Him and I am thankful to have been forgiven. I want the same for my wife.

  • YOu mentioon you don't have to hide it, but you don't have to expose everything also.  

    Could you have just told her she could go over to your other house and not said anything about it not bothering you?  We don't have to let the kids know all of our thoughts.  

    I know, it is difficult.   I catch myself phrasing things at times in such a way it paints a less than pleasant picture of her.

  • Love believes the best.  that she's over reporting you about everything.  I'm not saying to go against the court orders or what your lawyer says, but consider she may be at a better place where she no longer will hold everything against you.  Just get rid of the thought that she'll use everything against you.  It adds to the negativity room.

    I have to do the same.  I assume she's out with the wrong person and she comes home with a car of groceries.  The flesh just tries to get us to think the worse.

  • Great news about Trinity.  and also Jessica.  you sure did make an impact on her if she's still calling you dad and talking to you.  For a kid to go through 16 years of torment, you surely had an awesome impact on her.  most people just do not comprehend how such a bad beginning for a child has such horrific effects upon them.  And as d continues to rise, it will only get worse for the kids.  very sad.

  • Eddie, you keep pointing our how you made such mistakes in the past.  You have to leave the past behind.  And live in the forgiveness.  

    Whatever you did in the past I am sure it pales in comparison to Paul persecuting the church.  Yet, correct me if I am wrong.  But Paul never held onto this past did he?  He just did all he could do to do God's will and point people to Jesus and salvation.  

  • Discouraged, dishartened, depressed and dead. Tim is right God forgave you, you can live free in this because of Jesus blood.

    Say less live more. I can end up doing to much and bumbling around, in my flesh, and mess things up.

    Just keep looking to Jesus, your kids will see, Live in the light of the risen Lord.

  • II have really tried to let go of the past. The unfortunate thing is that the court system won't. My wife won't. Her attorney won't. Not even my attorney will because he has to combat their allegations. I am really trying though. I realize the past doesn't matter because Jesus sacrificed Himself for me and those sins are forgotten. It's just while this is going on it is continually brought up and therefore is always in my mind.

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