Collaborate without boundaries

June 11, 2018

  • Comments 8

Another rollercoaster weekend. Sadly I'm getting used to it.

I talked to Becca Friday night about going out late. I told her she is fifteen and has no business being out until 2:45am. I told her no more. She said okay then asked me to take her to the other house and I haven't seen her since. She did text me yesterday during evening church to come get her but I was mad at her so I ignored the text then about thirty minutes later she texted me again and said nevermind. So she didn't come home last night. I'm just confused as to how I'm supposed to raise a child in this situation. I don't even know if she hung out with her mom like she said she was going to since I'm not allowed to communicate with my wife. Becca could be playing us both for her benefit and I wouldn't know.

In the book I am reading it says do not say anything like "We would have more money if it wasn't for your mom." I have not said anything like that but I have told the kids we can't do certain things because I just don't have the money. I don't think it would be fair to lie to them. Plus a lie is a lie and God hates a liar. But I never put the blame on my wife. I'm thinking about that because Caleb gave me his debit card Friday and asked me to go get him something to eat. I didn't take it because I feel bad not being able to provide for my children so I bought him food with my own money. Maybe that is prideful. I don't know. I just want to give my kids things. Then after I dropped the girls off Aleigha went into the house and came back out and gave me five dollars. It was all the money she has and she said I needed it more than she did. So on the way home I cried my eyes out. I'm so sad for my children. Then to top it off Caleb told me yesterday that I don't need to buy bottled water any more. He said he can refill his bottle with tap water and that should save us some money. I don't say anything negative to them about finances. I just tell them we can't do the things we used to when they ask. I tell them God will provide for us. It's amazing that Caleb has stuck by me even though he has had to give up a very comfortable life. He could have pretty much anything he wants if he had stayed with his mom. Becca was the same but lately she has been doing what makes her "happy." Which concerns me because that is what my wife is doing. It's not teaching Becca a good life lesson and certainly not a biblical lesson.

For some reason, on Friday, Aleigha asked me if the Bible says it is okay to get divorced. I told her there is one reason and that is if someone cheats. She said "Well mom cheated on you." I told her that's not a fact and even if it was the Bible teaches love and forgiveness above all. I told her that no matter what happens I am commanded by God to forgive and that's what I will do. She also asked me to try to get our visitation days changed to Wednesday and Sunday so she can go to church with me. I told her I am working on that.

Otherwise I worked on the war room. I added a couple things and reread the stuff I already had up. It helps keep me focused on God and helps keep me accountable. Saturday I played video games all day and when I went to bed I felt like God was telling me He need more of my attention so I made a promise to Him that He could have all my attention Sunday, so that's what He got. I went to morning and evening church and in between I watched a lot of online preaching. I also finished my paper on Moses and studied for the final exam on Exodus that I will take today.

I watch a lot of online preaching and it seems like in every hour long sermon I watch something is mentioned about divorce. Nearly every time. All these preachers recognize the problem but it's hard to do anything about it because the states support it. The government says it's not a problem. One preacher I was listening to was talking about how homosexuality is looked at as this terrible sin above many others but he said divorce is just as bad. He said many congregations will excommunicate homosexuals if they continue in sin but let divorce slide. He said people who divorce should also be excommunicated.

  • No church should shun sinners. Love the person but despise the sin. We're all born in sin and shaped in iniquity. We've all fallen and come short of his glory. Jesus died for remission of sin. Right? That is why we strive daily to reach perfection and if we say we have no sin we are liars. Where's compassion, forgiveness, long-suffering, mercy?

  • Children will play you like a fiddle if you let them. Put your foot down and tell her she stays with you and follow the rules or she lives with her mother. No in-between or back and forth just cause she can't have her way.

  • Check out ministerkmurray and GTWChurch on YouTube. Great word from on high.

  • Where you say sadly you are getting use to it.  Maybe it's you are getting more comfort in trusting God in this trial is what's really happening, and not that you are just getting use to it.  

    Was it pride that you had power over Becca  and that's why you did not reply to her text?  

  • There seems to be one verse in Matthew I believe that people so often use as the escape clause to get out of a marriage.  But, to me, from what I have read, and I  know it is interpreted differently so often, that  clause is talking more about an invalid marriage, not adultery.  Invalid in such a way that the two people should never have gotten married in the first place, such as an incestuous marriage, or  where one person lied about being committed to the marriage from the very beginning.   Not about adultery.

  • Divorce is so common place and becoming so acceptable many churches are watering down the word of God.  

  • Tessy we should love above all, and I do. My church does also. But I just looked up the word excommunicate because I really didn't know what that meant. It does make sense to me to not have a person who doesn't repent of sin and keeps sinning on purpose doing things in the church such as leading prayers or serving the Lord's Supper. I'm no expert on this since I am young n the faith but I know it says in the Bible that elders are to discipline those who refuse to repent of sin. But always love the sinner. Hate the sin.

    I know I need to put my foot down to my daughter. I can't let her make the rules. I'm pretty upset because I told her last weekend she couldn't go to a neighboring town to visit some guy I don't know but she went to my wife and my wife took her and dropped her off there and left her for a while. If my wife wants to raise her like that then I don't know what to do. I don't think it is good parenting and I don't even think it is safe. She's only 15.

    I have noticed the kids trying to play us like a fiddle. Our oldest son does that to his mom with money, although he respects me tremendously. The other kids do similar things. Becca is the only one who does stuff like this to me.

    I am getting used to letting God have all my worries and I did let pride get in the way when I didn't reply to Becca.

    I had a lesson on the stages of sin- abhorrence, repugnance, tolerance, acceptance, and finally embrace it. Our society is at least in the acceptance stage of divorce. Maybe moving into completely embracing it. In order to do that the Word has to be watered down. It's still the Word though.

  • Right, they shouldn't be in position at church

    Only sitting listening to the word.

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