Collaborate without boundaries

June 6, 2018

  • Comments 8

I feel a little better today. Enough to come to work. Kids are still sick though. I read up to chapter 20 in Job last night. So much wisdom in that book. I also worked on my Moses paper. Should have that finished soon and then I'll be ready to test out of Exodus. I'm learning a lot. I just need to learn to apply it.

Someone on Facebook posted a question: Should a husband defend his wife against insults from his family? I responded: A husband and wife are one flesh. Of course he should. I immediately felt ashamed because I have not defended my wife. I have actually jumped on the bandwagon to talk about her. That one Facebook post gave me so much clarity. My wife is a great person. Satan is the vicious one. I need God's help to fight him, not my wife. Shame on me.

In the book of Job it says when the sons of God (angels) came to present themselves to the Lord, satan came also. God said to satan "From where do you come?" Satan answered "From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking back and forth on it." Satan is here. He is walking to and fro trying to destroy us all and take as many of us with him to hell as he can. We know that the majority of people are going to follow him. Jesus tells us that in Matthew 7:13. Not because God wants that, but because so many people choose not to believe. So there are very few of us left who must stand for God's word. The narrow road is difficult but it is ultimately the most rewarding. Let's stand together for marriage, for everything the Bible says. Let's put God where He belongs. At the top of our lives.

I've thought about reconciling with my wife and came to the conclusion that I am not ready. That is obvious in my journals. One thing I have thought about is that in order to properly reconcile we would have to purge non-Christian things from our lives. One being our former lifestyle of sexual immorality. It would also include her parents and this is something that she is not willing to do right now. I asked her a few months ago, when we were still communicating, if we could hire a Christian babysitter instead of her mother doing it. The only response I got was a domestic violence protection order against me so I took that as a no. They are still our parents and we would love them but we would have to stop letting them have influences on our lives and our children's lives. We would need to influence their lives as Christians. Then I started thinking if that would be the scenario then I need to apply that to myself, right now. I need to purge non-Christian things from my life. My wife. I must love her and respect her because I made a vow to her but I can't allow her to suck me back into the secular world. I have to have a strong will and follow the will of God and hope and pray that she acquires this same desire over time. No matter what happens in the next few months I will always consider her my wife and I will wait on her to find God.

I was as lost as a person can be and I found my way back. Just last night I was watching some videos with the girls and I realized something while we were learning about the parable of the lost sheep. God rejoices more when a lost person returns to Him than He does over nighty-nine righteous people who do not need to repent. I imagine the day I was baptized last year that there was much rejoicing in heaven. God probably said "Finally he gets it" and I do. This can happen for anyone. Even though people keep telling me my wife is gone for good I'll never believe that. God is just waiting for her to return. And He's teaching me to wait too.

  • Eddie, I wouldn’t worry too much about trying to clean up your life. If you are seeking God with a pure heart, not self-seeking, you will be convicted of the things that God wants you to stop or get rid of. Stay in his word and seek his face. He wants you to seek him, and nothing else. I struggle with this daily but as you keep doing it, it becomes so joyful that you can’t think of anything better, not that you don’t want your family back together or to hold your wife, but the peace you get looking into his eyes, looking into the future, because your future is in Gods hands, and your plans committed to him, knowing you  are secure. He knows the desire of your heart

    I agree you need to stop speaking that way about your wife. She is one with you “what man doesn’t love his own body” this includes speaking well of it. This also will change as you seek him, and believe the best, from him for you and from him for your wife.

    God sees what your in-laws are doing. Don’t worry. He has everything in his hands.

  • I see so many of the issues in my marriage in your post. Mostly with the in law and in praying for my spouse to return to God. My in laws (and I hate to judge this way but the fruit reflects properly) are very godly on the outside. The secular world was never a big part of our home or marriage. It’s mostly been reflecting one thing on the outside while not living it completely. Very Pharisee scenario. I’ve always had a distaste for it. My father in law is a southern baptist pastor and looks down his nose at any other type of church. Anyone struggling with addiction or very outwardly apparent sin too. I can’t stand it!! My husband also has these tendencies. My Husband kept the fact that I am a recovering addict from his family until after we were married. (I am 5 years clean!) They convinced my husband that I was showing signs of relapse and that his children were in danger of being exposed to worldly things by even being around me. I love being around people who know they are sinners and just want to be better every day than the day before because of how good God is. I remember realizing I wasn’t ready for my marriage to be mended because I wasn’t willing for the growth to stop. Keep studying and growing! I will say this.... it’s better to know one chapter in and out than to have read every verse. Make sure you aren’t going through the studies too quickly. Savor each verse. I can see a ton of growth since you first started posting here. So excited to see what God is doing in your life!

  • So true Dpowell, get to know the person in the chapter not just the words of the book, "drink them in" as Ann of Green Gables would say, make them your thoughts (not part of your thoughts)

  • it is tough to keep good thoughts of our spouse.  and we see that are thoughts become words.  Thanks for the reminder.  I have to clean up my thoughts and comments about her.  

    Maybe, with your in laws, your testimony will bring them to Christ.  And if it doesn't, maybe your testimony will bring them to  a point they live in a more Christian type way and no longer mock the bible or religion to  your  kids.  We can't cut everyone out of our lives that doesn't believe like we do.  Otherwise, we would constantly have to change jobs, find a new favorite restaurant, not use most stores, etc.  Just a thought...

  • You mention you are learning a lot.  And you need to  now just apply it.  I think we all see where you are learning and applying.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  If you're moving  forward in your journey consider it good.  

    I remember hearing a woman who I think was Christian, or maybe didn't follow anything, who converted her household to a Jewish household.  She said you can not convert and follow all the rules overnight.  So, pick one thing and apply it for a time, then pick something else and apply it.

    Maybe that's an approach to  take.  

    I think I  heard a priest say something similar.  If we find ourselves confessing the same sins year after year.

  • Instead of always trying to correct all the sins at once, try working on fixing just one sin.  Then when that sin is eliminated or under control, choose another  sin to  tackle.  (my words and maybe I didn't get the message like I should have.)

    I guess don[t focus so much on how much more you need to  grow, but remember to rejoice in the journey that God is helping you with.

  • Excellent advice. I'm pretty hard on myself but that's because I lived in so much sin for years and years. I feel like I have a lot to make up for. I do go through these studies quickly. I actually cut out a lot of them because it was getting to be too much. I'm focusing mainly on my online studies now because it's going to take me on an in depth study of the Bible anyway. There's also a lot to deal with in my life that makes it tough to function properly each day without burying myself in the Word.

  • Eddie, I did the same as you. I felt like I was in sin for so long and had a lot to make up for. I drank God in every day. Anything I could read, I read. It’s not a bad thing. You came to The Well thirsty and He is quenching that thirst.  

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