Collaborate without boundaries

May 28, 2018

  • Comments 7

The weekend was tough because of my wife's birthday and not being able to say or do anything about it. I'm afraid she thinks I'm being mean because she told me happy birthday and bought me gifts but I didn't do the same for her. My attorney said absolutely do not do anything for her and if I don't listen to him I could end up in jail and then not be able to take care of my kids. Oh, if my wife only had a clue what kind of predicament she has put me in.  I don't want to ignore her because she is my wife but she will absolutely get me in legal trouble if I don't.

She keeps telling the kids that once this is over (and by that she means her divorce completed) everything will go back to normal. We will all be friends and go to church together and talk and be happy. I just wish she and I were on the same page because I don't understand her way of thinking.

I've said many times that reconciliation at this point would be almost impossible but throughout my studies I have realized that it actually wouldn't be hard at all. God has a perfect plan for everything. He has put me in a position to be able to forgive anyone for anything. The incident in the Walmart parking lot with my dog a couple weeks ago shows that. I handled that much better than I would have two years ago. I still have a long way to go but He has me on the right path. If my wife were to come to the same conclusion she would see that what God has done for us is give us everything we need to move past this. It's just a matter of putting God first in everything. Now that I know this I fight hard to do it every day. God first then everything else falls into place.

So this is a trial. And God works everything for good. I read James 1:2 in a devotional this morning. "My brethren, count it joy when you fall into various trials." It's not easy to do but this is what God tells us. We are to find joy in this trial. My joy comes from the biblical knowledge I have gained in the past year. I can carry on a good conversation with anyone about the Bible now. I wouldn't have been able to do that a few years ago.

I continue to wear my wedding ring and I will continue because I do believe that what God put together man cannot separate. I have to wait on my wife.

  • Romans 5 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith[b] into this grace in which we stand, and we[c] rejoice[d] in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

    this coms to mind a lot in my trial and is a comfort.

  • She probably is thinking that you are being mean, but knows why at the same time. She may hold it against you, but when she thinks about it, it will make sense why you didn't do anything.

  • I need that comfort. Thanks for reminding me.

    I don't think she thinks a whole lot about anything right now. That's what makes the waiting so hard.

  • Back about 8 days ago is posted that I thought I had messed up. Well MH mentioned that post and asked me if I thought I was the only one saying things like that to her. It was a very direct letter and it was comforting to know that she is thinking and that I'm not the only one. I'm just waiting for her to make a move. However long it takes. You know being in it for the long run is hard but it is good to, good to know that I will receive a crown in glory for sticking with it.

  • God first and everything else falls in place.  How true in what you said.  

    Joy in a trial.  True again.  Hard to do for me though.  

    We learn to show kindness and  patience in the dares.  When, at least for me, the flesh says to draw a line in the sand and give our spouse an ultimatum.  Either they change there ways or they're booted out of the family.  And we learn in the dares not to take control from God by trying to force our spouse to come back by drawing that  line in the sand.

    I guess is what  I am getting at with you not able to contact your wife and say happy birthday it is kind  of like now God is drawing the line  in the sand.  Making her see how you are not being mean or showing her anger.

  • But she may kind of be wondering what you are thinking. she may be thinking, since she sees nothing coming from you, Are you not communicating because you are legally not able to or because you do not want to. and God will use this for your  good.

  • your last sentence...Waiting.  Such a pain to do.  But maybe we need to even let go of the waiting.  And just live in the moment for God and not dwell on the waiting or what the unpredictable future holds..   And give even the waiting up for God to handle.

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