Collaborate without boundaries

May 15, 2018

  • Comments 7

Ups and downs.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I'm not letting things bother me so much anymore. I worry too much about things I can't control and I think that's a problem many people have. I made a good dinner for the kids and watch some television. Becca and I went to the grocery store. All in all things went well. There were, however, things that happened that I wish didn't.

I got correspondence from my attorney that said my wife's attorney requested the court deny his request for a continuance for the following reasons: 1) When scheduled my attorney had no conflict with the date, 2) Trinity's therapist is scheduled to testify, 3) My wife feels that there are issues regarding the children that need addressed, 4) My attorney disobeyed local court rules by failing to contact my wife's attorney to secure agreement or objection to his continuance request, 5) The hearing has been scheduled since March 6, 2018 giving ample time to file a motion prior to eleven days before the hearing, and 6) It would cause economic hardship on my wife due to additional attorney's fees.

1) My wife's attorney could literally be the right hand of the devil. She plays the system so well. It doesn't matter to me when the hearing is. I will accept whatever happens and move on with my life. I will continue to stand for marriage though, even when I am being beat down for it.

2) I'm assuming Trinity's therapist is going to testify against me since my wife's attorney is requesting her. I'm so not worried about that though because I have never done anything harmful to her and I honestly don't see how the words of a third party mean anything anyway. I hope my attorney will be able to handle that situation when it arises.

3) Issues regarding the children? The only issue I see is the parental alienation of their father. I'm not sure what else my wife sees. It could be that she is angry that Caleb and Becca have left her. Her two biological kids are not much of a part of her life because of HER decisions. Becca has spent time with her the past two weekends but Caleb refuses to. He told me yesterday that she asked him to spend Mother's Day with her and he told her "No, why would I do that? I don't even like you."  He even said she bothers him all the time asking him to do things with her and he told her to stop asking because he is not going to. Now that's harsh and it HAS to be devastating to a mother, but it's not my fault. I can't be blamed for this.

4 & 5)My attorney has to be at least a little angry because my wife's attorney is saying he is not doing his job right. I don't see how he couldn't be.

6) Economic hardship?!?! That's a straight up joke. My wife has applied vice grips to me in order to make sure I am in as bad of a financial spot as possible. She has absolutely no economic hardship at all. Here's how our finances are right now based on what she has forced upon me in court:

My income= $51,314, Monthly net (after taxes)= $3,000, Monthly bills= $2,621 + $300 to church, Total= $2,921, Margin= $79/month

Her income= $90,000 + $32,750 (adoption subsidy), Monthly net= $5,250 + $2,729 (adoption subsidy), Monthly bills= $3,113, Margin= $4,866/month

If a person can't see who has the economic hardship then they are blind or mathematically uneducated. I don't have enough money for food and gas right now. I'm living on a credit card. Even if she spends $1,500 a month on the kids she's still clearing almost $3,400/month.

Moving on- Trinity called me last night. It's the first time she has talked to me in a month. She wanted to know if Becca had the Firestick that she said her mom gave her. Trinity said Amber (she calls us by our first names) paid for it with her money and it is supposed to be left in the bedroom there, not brought with her. Trinity was very rude to me on the phone. I told her I would tell Becca but she was sitting beside me on the couch listening to the conversation. I just asked Becca if she got all of that and she said yes. I'm not sure what is going on or how Becca feels about it. It's all confusing to me. The sad part is that Trinity, an almost fourteen year old girl whom I have raised as my own daughter for the last eight years seems to hate me. It's something that KILLS me NOW as a parent, but I know that years from now she will feel different.

I should also finish up my study on Genesis through the World Video Bible School today. I'm almost done with my seven page term paper on Abraham then I will be set to take the final exam. It's been very interesting and enlightening. I hoe to start on Exodus tomorrow or Thursday.

  • Keep living in the light of the risen Lord. I have no idea what you are going through, but God is faithful and will work things in his own time. d to hear that things aren't bothering you so much, stay focused on the dares, even if they don't seem to be doing anything, God is using them for your benefit, and will bring forth fruit in your life that can not be mistaken as any ting else.

  • It's been rough. My sister just told me last night that a normal person would not have made it this far. I told her I'm very normal but I have God with me so it makes it much easier. I imagine once this is over, one way or the other, I will be a true spokesman for God. Especially once I finish up my online studies. Genesis is almost done. Forty-four more lessons to go and I will be done. That will keep me very busy.

  • Remember that Bible knowledge is good, but application is more important, make sure that you are studying for the same reasons you do the dares as a benefit to your weak with God. I know for myself I was  studying for my self and selfish reasons at the beginning of this trial, and I don't remember the things I was thinking about and taking in. I did it in hopes that it would help me get my wife back, not a bad reason but not what God wants. Now I do it for my own benefit and the constructive benefit of building with gold and preasious stones instead of wood hay and stubble.

    If I speek with the tongs of angles but have not love.....

  • I was just thinking, as I was reading other journals on here, that I am really good at offering advice using my knowledge but I am horrible at applying it. I'm going to have to really work on that.

  • That's great you are not letting things bother you as much now.  That's growth in your walk in Christ.  You will notice you sleep better if you've been having any problems sleeping.

    If Becca did take the firestick, it may go a long  way with Trinity and your wife  if you have it returned.

    It is just crazy how our spouses like to not only kill a marriage, but also make it harder on us, be it venom, or financially hurting us.  But, God takes care of these things some how.

  • You sure aren't normal.  The world is normal.  And the world would have seeked vengeance and  a d long time ago.  What you and everyone on this site is doing, standing for the covenant should be normal, but it surely isn't.

    YOu are right, it is so easy to say what should be done, but harder to follow what should be done.  I think part of it is when you are in the midst of it all, it's harder to be objective and clearly see what's the right thing to do.  Because our emotions and selfishness get in the way.  When we die to self, it may be easier to see what we should do.

  • Part of what's good about replying to people, it helps hold you more accountable when you feel like it's time to do something, and that usually means follow the  flesh.  

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