Collaborate without boundaries

March 13, 2018

  • Comments 2

The world just continues to close in on me.

My younger sister texted me yesterday and said my wife has been in contact with our older sister and I need to call her. I haven't talked to my older sister in about nine months. I didn't want her to have to be a part of this. So I called her last night and for the first part of the conversation my sister told me how wrong I was and all I was doing was harming the children by not cooperating with my wife. She said my wife doesn't love me and she doesn't think God would care if people got divorced when they stopped loving each other. I don't remember the part in our wedding vows about it being ok to forsake the vows if you stop loving the other person.

So here I am completely upset today because my wife has reached out to another person I didn't want involved. Now my sister thinks I am being a jerk by fighting FOR the marriage. She actually said I need to grow up and accept that it is over. I told her that my wife really needs to grow up and work on her marriage. My wife started all of this and now she is trying to take our house, our kids and all the money and leave me with nothing. I told my sister I can't survive financially if I cooperate with her. That's one of the reasons why I am fighting. And my wife didn't mention that she abandoned us for seven months. She didn't mention that she didn't put any money into the family the last two months she was gone. She didn't mention that when she did move back in she fabricated a story about me punching her in the face to get me kicked out. She didn't mention that she has been "confiding" in another guy. She didn't mention much of anything except how wrong I am. I told my sister that she probably only knows about 1% of what is going on and if she wanted to know the truth she should call our two oldest kids, Caleb and Becca, and ask them.

I told my sister that I don't care what she is told but please don't ever think that I physically abused my wife. She told me she didn't believe that at all. I hope she actually does believe me because I don't want anyone thinking I've ever done that.

I continue to pray for wisdom and for my wife and children. I'm kind of lost in the world right now. Not knowing why I am in this situation. I'm just trying to come out the other side in one piece and hopefully be a testimony for God.

  • Your sister probably just got caught up in the emotions and followed the roller coaster ride your wife is on.  And she is surely wrong on her theory of it's fine to walk away from a marriage.  It is crazy how individuals can contradict the bible and the wisdom of centuries old religion and still think they are in the right.  

    IF your sister doesn't believe you hit her, surely in time she will begin to realize your wife is feeding her falsehoods on the rest.  HOw can someone believe part of a person's story when they don't believe a portion of it?

    Keep being with the kids the best you can, and if you ever deal with your wife, show patience and kindness, and let God sort her out.  And be in peace knowing you put her in His hands.  

  • As I was thinking about all of this earlier I started wondering how my sister can think my wife is lying about the physical abuse but telling the truth about everything else. Because my wife is very convincing and adamant about the alleged abuse. I think she even believes her own lies. I think eventually, if my sister stays in the picture, she will begin to notice like everyone else what the actual truth is. I'm not going to talk to her unless I have to because at this point I can't defend myself without throwing accusations at my wife and I'm tired of doing that. I just want some peace for now.

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