Collaborate without boundaries

February 14, 2018

  • Comments 11

The kids called me after school and asked if I was going to get to "visit" with them today. I told them I had no idea because the agreement made last week was supposed to go through yesterday about me "visiting" with them on Tuesday and Thursday. They said they asked their mom and she said there is a visit today. I asked my attorney and he said there is nothing in writing about me seeing my children. The verbal agreement made was that I would not communicate or go near my wife or the house. But my wife keeps telling the kids that they are not legally allowed to be around me unless its Tuesday or Thursday from 5-8pm but that is simply not true. This is exactly what our lives have been like. She tells me what to do and I do it. She makes up the rules as she goes and whoever gets in the way gets destroyed. I hope she sees this someday.

So I picked up the kids and took them to Outback Steakhouse. No talk about mom. We just had fun. On the way there though Caleb said he wanted to go to the mall to buy a pair of shoes then he whipped out $200 from his wallet. I asked him where he got it and he said his mom gave it to him. I asked why in the world she gave him $200 and Becca said "Because she's trying to buy us off." Caleb said he thinks so too but it's not going to work. He said he would take her money though. So she's buying the kids things from the mall, giving them cash, not punishing Nick for stealing, doing drugs, underage drinking, running away or any thing else he does and she doesn't seem to think this is strange behavior. I see it as her trying to buy their affection. The worst part is that everyone in a position to change our lives seems to believe every single word she says. It's extremely frustrating.

There was no way I was going to be able to get the kids back home by 8:00 so they called my wife and told her. From the conversation I heard Trinity having with her and the text conversation Caleb was having with her it seemed like she was mad. I'm sure it will now come up at some point that I was not cooperating. I told the kids that there actually is no limit on when and how long I can see them. I told them to ask her to see that in writing because it doesn't exist. My wife is lying to our children and I'm not going to do the same. They will know the truth.

I asked Becca if she wanted to go to the movies with me Friday and watch Samson. She asked me if she is allowed. I told her of course she is allowed and reminded her that there is absolutely nothing that prevents me from doing things with them. So that's what we plan on doing Friday. I told her I would pick her up and if her mom asks what she is doing to tell her she is going to watch a movie with her dad.

I'm still unsure why my wife is pursuing this. I don't know what the reason is. I don't know how she went from loving me last Valentine's Day to hating me so much in just one year. I want to hate her so bad for what she is doing to me because it is so wrong but I just can't. I've recently become curious to something she told me a couple months ago. We were talking and she said there was one reason why she was unwilling to stay with me and at the time I told her I didn't want to know because no matter what it was there could not possibly be any justification for it. Now I am curious as to what her "one" reason is. Even then I'm certain if that reason could be fixed she would just find another one.

Something very strange happened yesterday morning. I play Yahtzee on an app and I brought up one of my games and before I rolled my first turn I playfully said to myself "If I get a full house then my marriage will be ok someday" and I pushed the button to roll the dice and a full house popped up on the first roll. So obviously I was surprised. So I clicked to play the next game and I said "If I get a large straight on this one then my marriage will be ok someday" and I rolled the first roll picked the dice I wanted to keep and on the second roll I got a large straight. I closed the app and thought what the heck just happened. I tried to look up the probability of this and what I found was the chance of a full house is 3.85% and a large straight is 3.1%. Getting them back to back would be way less. If I calculated correctly the odds of this would be .12% (one tenth of one percent).

  • The energy and time she wastes making you miserable and destroying everything in front of her will take a toll.  She will most likely burn out and realize she is not shaking your testimony.  So, if need be, lead your heart.  You may be at a stage where the flesh becomes loud and says enough, I give and give and sacrifice just to be dumped on continuously.  But you must quench the flesh's thoughts with the word of God and His will.  You do not want to dent your testimony.  She still needs to see your testimony, even more so now. And so do the kids, it is what will help them stay okay with what's going on.  

  • If you get God's wisdom how or if you should pursue finding out the one thing she mentioned, let me know.  Mine in the beginning asked a few times why do I love her.  No matter how I asked, it wasn't the answer she wanted. She one day said, she just wants to hear one thing, but if she told me, it wouldn't count if I then told her that it was the reason i loved her.  

  • About the Yahtzee.  Not even sure if I should say anything, as this is really beyond my pay grade.  So, dismiss what i have to say may be a good idea.  But here goes......Did you or were you inferring you were talking to God when you said If I get.......  If so, then maybe God was giving you a sign He knew would do you good.  

    But this part I really hesitate to say....If you were talking to yourself, like we all can do, could it have been evil that gave you the responses to cause confusion?  Even so, God is in full control.  So, keep God right there in your life.  

  • several people have said hey got a strong message about God saying everything will turn out in the marriage okay.  I am sure God does give us signs when He chooses to.  I am very certain years ago, God said to me as I was sitting in church contemplating His sacrifice while looking at a crucifix, That he said, I gave, will you?  And that stuck with me for years and I think He said it intending for me during this trial.  And another time probably 4 years or more ago, asking God on a walk, when will this be over.  And I am certain He said, It's not over, yet....

  • So, if you feel peace from what happened with  the dice, then very well could be from God.  If it causes uncertainty or distress then maybe it's just a freaking coincidence or evil tempting you somehow.  Maybe in prayer you will find what this was all about.  Or maybe you already know.

  • So, if you feel peace from what happened with  the dice, then very well could be from God.  If it causes uncertainty or distress then maybe it's just a freaking coincidence or evil tempting you somehow.  Maybe in prayer you will find what this was all about.  Or maybe you already know.

  • So, if you feel peace from what happened with  the dice, then very well could be from God.  If it causes uncertainty or distress then maybe it's just a freaking coincidence or evil tempting you somehow.  Maybe in prayer you will find what this was all about.  Or maybe you already know.

  • freaky not freaking.....sorry...

  • Could you ask her what her "reason" is. Maybe it would give you some perspective as to where she is coming from?

  • I am trying my best to keep up my testimony.

    I can't legally ask her anything right now and when she did tell me there was one reason I didn't let her tell me because I told her there is no justifiable reason. She said I wouldn't believe it and it would hurt me. Maybe I will get a chance to ask her someday.

  • Regardless it is hurting you. :( With my ex he shut down on me and made our lawyers a very expensive battleground. I wanted answers and would not get them until many years after we divorced. His infidelity in Iraq. I was so torn and hurt bc he wouldnt talk to me and made me an enemy. I prayed and grew closer to God everyday during those awful long years but came out a changed and new person! Its hard to see it when you are going through it but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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