Collaborate without boundaries

February 5, 2018

  • Comments 3

Well the domestic violence protection order was dropped this morning. My attorney advised me to go along with her demands because if somehow the judge were to find in her favor I would never be allowed to touch a firearm again and there would be a huge black mark on my record. So for the next eight days I am not allowed to go to my home. I have been permitted to pick up a few clothing items this evening and she will leave the house Tuesday and Thursday from 5-8pm so I can spend some time with the children. It's impossible to resist the flesh in the sense that I am devastated to the core over what my wife is doing to me. My heart is broken. Broken so bad it will never heal. The woman who once professed her undying love for me is doing everything she can to ruin me. I can't understand it and it's just too much.

After court Becca texted me and asked what happened. I told her I can't come home and that is all I am permitted to say to her. My wife is heavily pushing that I am turning the kids against her by what I am saying to them. I tell the kids what I consider the truth, that divorce is wrong, their mother is wrong and that we need to pray for her. Unfortunately the world does not see anything the way the Bible does. The courts look at that as saying something against their mother. I just don't know what to think. I will NEVER tell my kids that their mother is making the right decision or that I agree with her decision. One thing I don't understand is how the courts can say I am harming the kids by telling them the truth but their mother is ok in breaking up the family which statistically can be devastating to children. What my children have been through in the last two years has more than likely altered their lives in a terribly negative way and I promise I have done the best I can to prevent that. Someone has their priorities all wrong.

My attorney said that my wife is saying the children want to live with her and that is utterly confusing because I can say with confidence that the kids are going to tell the judge they do not want to live with their mother. And that is solely based on her behavior and actions. It is not based on anything I have said to them. I tell them to pray for their mother. I tell them to obey their mother. I don't tell them anything negative at all. He said he's not sure what she is thinking. I told him she has been acting like this for the last couple years, ever since Child Protective Services got involved in our lives. I've told the kids that they can live with her half the time and me half the time because that's how it usually works out. They said no way to that. They don't want to live with her at all. I actually talked about this with my wife a couple months ago and told her what the kids say to me because I wanted to be honest with her. She said they say the same thing to her and she had me convinced for a while that the kids are playing us against each other. She told me not to believe them because they are lying to both of us. I no longer believe that. I believe that they see the truth and they don't want to be a part of her life as long as she is acting so strange. My wife needs prayers and she needs God to move in her life. I'm very fearful for her soul. I pray for her many times every day.

I'm afraid to tell Caleb today because of the way he blew up on her last Monday. I fear he is going to be very angry. In the meantime I get to live with my friend and his wife. I don't like that because I feel like I'm intruding in someone else's lives but I am thankful that I have such a wonderful friend who is willing to help me out.

Before court today I repeated the 23rd Psalm over and over to myself. I was nervous but after a few times it really helped to calm me down. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil.

  • I am sure the kids do want to be with you.  And I am sure your wife at times will paint a better picture of things between her and the kids to  make herself look better.

    And the kids may pay both of you against each other at times, but they know who is right and who is wroing between mom and dad.  And they are choosing right, not wrong, they are choosing you.

    My thought, you let them know d is wrong, but let them come up with, and they will, without  you pointing it out, that their mother is wrong.  This way you are giving them the truth about marriage and d, and they will know she is wrong, but the kids or courts won't see you pointing your  finger directly at her.  

  • I think repeating over and over certain words or verses is such a good way to find peace.  Like you did with Psalm 23.  

    I surely think that the CPS incident has much to do with her behavior.  Maybe a way to try to escape or walk away so that it feels like it never happened to her.  But, as much as she tries to escape, she will know.  And this may be what finally brings her back  to Christ's ways.  

    Keep up your testimony so when she comes around to Christ she still sees Christ in you.

  • That's a lot of great advice Tim. I will continue to tell them that divorce is wrong but nothing more. They are smart and know right from wrong like you said.

    I do think my wife is trying to escape her past instead of facing it. I hope I can be there for her when it catches up with her.

    I am trying my best to keep up my testimony but I'll admit I have weak moments.

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