Collaborate without boundaries

February 1, 2018

  • Comments 5

Some goodness came my way yesterday. An old high school friend saw my post on Facebook about needing a place to stay and told me I could stay with him as long as I needed to. I felt love. The kind if love I needed right now. It took me about three hours to catch him up on what is going on in my life. He has known my wife and I since we were married. He and his wife just can't believe what is happening.

I talked to each of my kids a little. I asked Trinity how she was doing. She said she was ok. She said when they all got up for school yesterday morning Nick was not in the house. She said when they got home from school she asked him where he was and he said Amber let him stay home because he was sick. I don't believe that. I don't believe my wife let him and I don't believe he asked her. I did get a call from the school's automated system saying he was absent. My wife knows that he absolutely could not afford to miss any more days of school because we are on the verge of going to magistrate court over his truancy. I haven't heard anything from the prosecutor about the incorrigible petition I turned in to them yesterday.

Becca texted me some pictures of houses for sale this morning and said she wants me to take her and the other kids and buy a new house. She said she doesn't want to stay in our current house because there are too many bad memories. I told her I just have to do what my attorney says right now.

Aleigha said she was going to spend the night at a friends house which I thought was weird because my wife never lets the kids do that on a school night. I think she is trying to earn their affection by letting them do things that she normally wouldn't. Aleigha said she would call me after school if possible.

I talked to Caleb about music. We talked about a band we like and their new song. He's just so sick of dealing with his mom that I avoided talking about it with him.

I check the kids school grades online weekly and usually have a conversation about them with each kid. In the first semester Nick's grades in the five core classes were F F F D D. Right now his core class grades are F F F D D four weeks into the 3rd nine week period. We got a letter in the mail a couple weeks ago that said he is in serious jeopardy of being held back in the 8th grade. He cannot pass unless he passes at least three of the five core classes.

Right now my wife is completely oblivious to what this is doing to our children. When asked how the kids are doing she tells people they are doing great. I know better than that because they complain to me everyday about this situation. I wish something would become apparent to her and she would see what is truly happening. I just can't figure out why her mind has been fractured to the point of no return. One thing is for sure, I love my wife with every beat of my heart and there is nothing she can do to change that but she needs serious help. Legally, there is nothing I can do but I see it and so do many people around her that also love her. I'm sad about this but I put it in God's hands. I need to step back and let Him handle everything.

On a side note. I had a lady randomly message me on Facebook and told me about a local couple that split up a few years ago because the woman found another man. She left her husband for this man and the husband stayed true to God and stayed in church. She said 3-4 years later the woman came back and they are happily married today. It can happen in God's time if you give Him complete control.

  • I'm not sure how a random person knew about your situation to message you about that, so if you are posting things about your marriage be aware she will find out and use it against her, plus that is not protecting her by letting the world know.  but, I know you may not be posting any such things.

    The kids see how she is, and see how you are. Thank God most of them but one, are following you.  I think in time your wife will settle down. It may take a couple years, maybe just a couple months.  but the truth of what she is doing will be hard for her to avoid long term.  

    Plus she probably will feel worn out in all of her manipulations with you and the kids.  And then settle down a bit.

  • But the key is keep doing what you are doing, seeking God's strength, wisdom, and comfort.  And staying consistent in building your testimony.

  • There is a rumor around my town that she is cheating on me. I was told that by my children whose friends told them. I'm from a town of about 3000. Word travels fast. I would never talk bad about my wife to anyone. I'm was shocked when my kids told me that and now random people are messaging me. It's pretty embarrassing really.

  • A small town like that I am  sure rumors fly quickly.  I understand how it can be embarrassing.  I have had people say things to me too.  But, be of Christ and when you hear these things just feel sad for your wife that she is in the state she is in, so far from God's will.  and always know love believes the best.  And that 80% of what we worry about is not true, 15% is made out to be much worse than what it really is, and the 5% is where we choose love by forgiving and showing unconditional love.  

  • I was confident that you were not saying anything negative on FB or anywhere else about your wife.  It so often said Love believes the best. But at least when I respond to journals, it appears I don't do that.  And I come across sounding like I am thinking the worse, but I just want to make sure all bases are covered.  

    I can assure you,  everyone I am so sure has done better at doing the dares and being consistent than me.  

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