Collaborate without boundaries

January 29, 2018

  • Comments 12

I have to admit to myself that this is not going to work out. My wife got a protective order on me last night so I am not allowed around her or my children. I spent all weekend looking for our son. I reported him as a missing person and registered him on the national missing children hotline and drove around all weekend to towns in a 30 mile radius looking for him. All the while my wife did nothing that I am aware of. I tried to keep her updated on what was going on and all she wanted to talk about was the cleanliness of the house. She didn't even act concerned that her son was gone. Sunday evening I got a call that they found him in a town about 30 minutes away. I went to get him and the he didn't have the things he stole from the house on him. (2 xboxs and a tablet) The police there told me to take him to our local police and fill out a stolen property report so when I got back to my town I had to stop at my house to get my daughter ready for her basketball game. My son got out of the car and refused to get back in so I tried to physically take him to the car, which is not illegal, and my wife came around the corner with her phone recording it. I put my hand up in front of her phone and tripped on the stairs. Then she threw her phone up the stairs and ran after it and called 911. When the police came they talked to us and said they weren't going to arrest anyone because nothing happened but they let her go to the magistrate to try to get a protective order on me and they let our delinquent son go with her. I asked them what was going on and they said they called the magistrate in on a Sunday so she could go. I said why can't I go and they said because she felt threatened. I told them our children were there watching the whole thing and can prove that I didn't do anything wrong. I said someone needs to talk to the children who will tell the truth and it doesn't make any sense to let the delinquent child go to the magistrate because of course he's going to throw me under the bus. Which is exactly what happened. So the cop comes back in an hour or so and gives me papers that I am temporarily banned from my house. He said he was surprised. I told him I wasn't because if a woman makes an accusation against a man the man doesn't stand a chance.

So my two oldest daughters left to go to friends houses. They said they are not coming home if she is there. My 10 year old daughter called me multiple times begging me to come and get her because she didn't want to be around my wife. She ended up locking herself in the bathroom and sleeping on the floor. While she had me on the phone I heard my 17 year old son in the background yelling at my wife telling her that he hates her and wants her to go away and leave our family alone. My wife has dug herself a hole that she doesn't understand. I've tried to help her but I just can't. She has something mentally wrong with her and she refuses any kind of help.

I think there are a couple things that contributed to her breakdown. She may have been served with my answer to her d papers where I said I want full custody of the children, child support and alimony. I'm sure that made her mad. Then I texted her Saturday night and told her I can't do this anymore. That I want her to come hold me and make everything better. Then when she woke me up Sunday morning I noticed that she had texted me back and said her dad isn't talking to her ever again because of what I have told him. I told her I haven't talked to her dad in months then I texted him and told him what she just said. He told me to tell her that his decision was based on her actions and nothing I had said. He said she was talking bad about ME last month and he was tired of it. I've never once talked bad about her to him or anyone. So I told her that I just texted him and what he said and she said she didn't want to hear it and I said "Well it's the truth. I've done nothing to offend you." Then she told me I need to stop yelling but I wasn't at all. I was just telling her what was said hoping she would understand that I didn't tell her dad anything. I even offered to give her my phone and let her read the text conversations. She refused that because I'm sure she didn't want to see that she was wrong.

So the best I can hope for is to make it through this with my children and wait for her to someday realize how wrong she is. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I'm trying and she's not.

  • I am so sorry, Eddie. My prayers go with you.

  • Thank you. I'm doing the best I can. I appreciate the prayers.

  • Eddie, I am so sorry you are going thru this . All the advice I can give you is to stand firm in your beliefs and to breathe . There are people praying hard for you , myself included. Don't give up and follow your heart. I don't know how you find the time to even follow me with all you have going on but I appreciate all you do. God's peace to you my friend.

  • Thanks so much. I keep teetering on the edge with my beliefs. It's so difficult thinking how in the world things can be so bad. I'm assuming God has big plans for me somehow.

  • Your first sentence.  Saying this isn't going to work out.  Do not believe that.  Love believes the best.  Just because the odds appear tougher than eve doesn't mean it can't work out.

    You saying it won't work out is you putting yourself above God's abilities.  My friend, emotions and the tiredness are affecting your thoughts, and your thoughts are affecting your words.  Go back, and know He is God and can do everything.  

  • Yes, she has free will and boy is she using it, for her will only.  She is throwing it all at you.  But, look at it this way.  She is doing because she is fighting God's conviction, not because she's really angry at you.  She's displacing her anger at God for how He's making her feel onto you.  You are the target of this displaced anger because she can attack you, not Him.

    It is so important now that you continue your testimony.

  • Things will settle sometime in her and it may be sooner than you think, and hopefully not longer than you think.  And when that time comes, she may be open to seeing God's will and start seeking how to mend her ways.

    You don't know, she doesn't even know now.  But, you must keep standing firmly.  If you do not, evil jumps for joy.  You want the angels singing because you keep standing for the covenant of marriage.  If a d happens, let it all fall on her. If a d happens, 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months, and 50 years from now, you will be so happy you stood all the while in the deepest pit you have ever experienced.

  • If you have time.  Go back and answer others journal entries like you have been because guess what, they need you.  and a bigger surprise is you need to do it for you.  Because when you want to give up or think the worse, that things can't happen it is real tough to keep those thoughts flowing in your mind when you tell people the opposite.

  • Do not worry about tomorrow.  God has that covered.  The things of today are enough to take in.  Deal with what you have to deal with in the moment and let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.

    Be strong, be couragous.  Seek God''s strengthand wisdom and his peace. And extend that peace He gives you to her the next time you see or talk to her.

  • Continued prayers. You are doing well in all that is happening.  Keep that going.  

    God trusted you to go to His will.  And you did.  Now He is trusting you that the trial has taken a new, even more bitter turn, that you will up your walk and continue down this path.

    You  have grown quickly.  And the plant that grows quickly can either wither or mature when the season  turns on it.

  • Choose now, wither with evil.  Or mature in God.  

    Abraham was ready to kill his son.  Can you imagine lifting a knife up and having your son look you in the eyes as you are ready to plunge the blade through his ribs?  If Abraham was willing to do this for God, you can keep standing.

    Be in comfort, it is still there.  Peace be with you.

  • Will do tim. Thanks. It's inspiring to think I have a chance to stand tall in the deepest pit I have ever experienced.

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