Collaborate without boundaries

Day 26- Love is Responsible- Done

  • Comments 5

I didn't actually do this dare today because I did this before I started the Love Dare. I spoke to my wife's brother yesterday, who has a master's degree in psychology, and he advised me that doing this again would be overkill. She already has heard and knows the things I need forgiveness for. By the way- her brother has talked to her until he has just given up. He says she's not going to change until she hits rock bottom. He started telling her the truth- that she is going against the Bible and she stopped talking to him.

I was very nice and pleasant to her all day. She calls a couple times a day usually about the kids and we talk. The conversations go fine as long as there no d talk. She is always pleasant to me also but she still wants to get divorced and be friends. That may work in some weird world but in our world our church would have to consider dismembering us. She can't expect to go against the Bible and then expect the church to still support her. I, on the other hand, am fully committed to following the Bible and God's divine Word. I actually feel sorry for her because she is heading down a dismal road that I've already been down.

To comment on some of yesterdays comments on my Day 25:

I do see that people don't start looking to God until something bad happens. As long as they think their worldly ways are going well they ignore God- I know I did until this happened. It was an eye opener.

We also do have adopted children. Our two oldest are biological and the four younger ones are adopted. I see them all as my very own children though. I think she does though but those kids do come with a lot of baggage and it is difficult to deal with.

And I am the only one that my wife has admitted to concerning hitting our son. I mentioned it to her parents and they called me a liar.

As much as I see stories about reconciling after a d it still doesn't give me a warm and kushy feeling. I'd simply rather not even make it that far.

Lastly (and this is for Peggy), I spoke to my brother-in-law (mentioned above) and he said I should go to court. He helped me see that it is not against the Bible to go to court. In fact the Bible says we should obey the laws of the land and by going to court in this instance doesn't mean I'm going along with the d. I actually need to go to court and say I contest the divorce and state my reasons why, which heavily rest on the well being of my children. And also on my faith, her faith too.

  • Eddie, yes you do what is right for you. I might change my mind about court too. It is not that far yet I appreciate you telling me your thoughts. I live in WI so I am not sure how that works. Guess if I come to that bridge I will cross it then. I had the same thoughts too, "To get on the stand and state that no my marriage is not irretrivably (don't know how to spell it, sorry) broken and I had 2 friends tell me not to go so to tell you the truth I really don't know what to do. I will be in prayer about it when the time comes. I will be praying for you though.

  • Eddie, you are right on how I should have handled finding that pill, thank you.  Your response was an eye opener. I, when this trial was more painful may not have looked up what the pill was for.  But, when things get a touch better it is so easy to try to take control, often without realizing it.

  • I can imagine she has let some of the stain with the adopted children lead her to the path she has chosen to take.  It is part of what led mine down this path.  

    If you do a second round, this is your first I think, and i would really encourage a second round, do this dare.  There are people that have done this dare 6 and 7 times.  I am not going to go against your brother in law, but even if he is following Christ, his response may be heavily influenced also by his education.

    All I can say is the people that do each dare the way as intended, especially when they don't want to, never come back and say they wish they skipped a dare or two.  They all say trusting God in doing each dare was what gave them what they were looking for, growth in God.

  • we all have our dares we do not want to do or feel are counter productive.  If you felt God has inspired or you have been lead to the dares by God, then trust in doing the dares as intended.

  • I meant to say strained, not stained.  I know you love all the kids, and who the biological parents are makes no difference to you.  These kids have baggage, but in some way, God can use that baggage for their good.  

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