Collaborate without boundaries

Day 30

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Well, I'm 3/4 of the way there and things are far worse than when I started this journey. (Not to sound all negative. lol) Today's chapter is on unity and, after some reflection, I'm not sure that my husband and I have had any unity for quite some time. It also makes me look at the upcoming decisions a little differently. If I make decisions based upon our unity then they are pretty clear. Making decisions with unity in mind then I have to make decisions that are still best for our family as a whole and not for just me and the kids like my flesh wants to. 

My flesh wants to say "he's not here and your life can't be on hold waiting on something that may never happen. It's time to make decisions for the ones who are there now" and the more hopeful part of me says "you know what you guys decided, now, step out in faith and stay on this road." I'm having to slowly break these thoughts down by the "pork, chicken or turkey" method. (Pork = unclean, satan; Chicken = self, not awful but definitely not the best; Turkey = God, the most clean and healthy option.) I'm hoping this will help keep me focused and my heart in a better place with my husband. 

Any faith I have had in him is completely gone at the moment. I am questioning his faith and things that I thought I saw in him and I know this is not a good place for me to be. I am worried that bitterness will soon take root. I still know God can but I'm back to not trusting that my husband will turn from the direction he is headed and the direction he is taking our family. 

I know that I can not do anything in the moment because of my anger. I have to deal with these emotions so that they are not clouding my judgement and I do not want to sin in my anger. I have to continue working through these feelings with God and just focus on letting Him heal me at the moment. I have to find a way to push my circumstances out of mind for now and focus fully on God and what God wants me to do. Please continue to pray for me. I am really having to dig my heels in at the moment to stay planted. 

  • Listen to the voice of faith. Trust God with your whole heart for he will supply all of your needs.

    The moment you truly give this situation to God is when he'll start working. You gotta learn to play the background. God won't work while you're trying to work.

    Cast all of your cares upon him for he cares for you. Prayers

  • Our flesh is so hard to fight, but thankfully Jesus won that battle for us on the cross.  Continue to focus on God and know that He is actively working in the midst of your circumstance.

  • You are having expectations  from him.  Thus the thoughts of did he ever really have faith, will he ever change?  Can he ever be trusted again?  Or be depended up on again?

    You are seeing the It gets worse before better.  This is when you lead your heart, stay out of the depreciation room, and give the hurtful emotions to God to handle.  

    You have potential decisions that may be needed to be made. but, you are wanting answers and God to handle or  your  husband to handle things on your timeframe.  Trust God's timing.  He is never late.  

  • This week has been difficult for me with the dares. We are really getting at the root of a lot of our issues and I am having to work through these emotionally. It is tough and I realized last night that by choosing to move my parents in or getting frustrated and giving up, I am essentially doing what my husband has done and I am not relying on God or trusting God to work. I have to base my decisions on God's word and what ever will promote unity.

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