Collaborate without boundaries

Still choosing to believe God for restoration

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Today was a good day. I chose to let God fill me. I read several chapters in Proverbs and jotted several of them down to put on my mirror at home. I have tons of scriptures and quotes posted where I get ready in the mornings so that I can start my day on a positive note.  I've debated on how to greet my spouse all day long. I've prayed about it and set my mind to do it. However, AP informed me tonight that there is nothing I can do to change his mind. He said he is tired of the "pointed scriptures" that I have posted everywhere and he doesn't need it or the quotes on the post it's." He said he's "sorry that I can't accept it and continue lying to myself about not trying to make things more difficult for him and the girls." "He is not going to do a miraculous 180 degree turn" and me "contesting the divorce will only solidify" my "desire to make things more difficult for us and our kids." He is "tired of me trying to make him feel guilty for doing what he has to do" and "he will go forward regardless." My messages are "exhaustive."

I told my husband that the scripture is not for him but instead for me. I told him that even though I am dead set on doing right I still need encouragement too. I told him that I'm not lying to myself; I know he is done. However, it is my job to do what I can and to let God do the rest. I told him that yes, what he's doing is wrong and he knows that but it's not my job to convict him. I told him that I'm sorry his heart is so hard. I told him that laying down and accepting defeat is the easy route and that we both knew this would be hard when we got into it. I told him that he's let God lead our family until this point and asked that he continues to do so. No response. I know from his message that he's feeling convicted and trying desperately to hold his resolve until he gets things "over with." I'm concerned that I'm putting too much pressure on. However, I blocked satans "punch" and didn't let it steal my joy. I didn't break down and sob like I normally would. I picked myself up and I put my kids to bed. We prayed for him as we have since I told them that he wants a divorce. 

Now im unsure that I will even have the chance to complete today's dare though. He is off tomorrow so he will be out extremely late. It's the first one that I haven't completed one yet. So, I choose to do it whenever I can and start tomorrow out with a new challenge. On a positive note, he's been taking the lunches that I make for him each day along with the coffee and breakfast "to go" that I leave for him. I'm praying that's a good sign. Please pray for us tomorrow. He will be off and I am expecting for him to go and file. I've prayed that God will continue to convict him and continue to reveal anyone encouraging him in the wrong direction for what and who they are. I've asked God to put "roadblocks" up but I also know that God will not take away his free will. Right now I could really go for seeing some softening in his heart though. 

  • Man, it is so good to hear  when you and others go through such a rough moment and come out still in God's joy.  I feel a rush of excitement now.   The world can not understand having joy in Christ.   Yet alone having joy even after being punched like this.  I thank God for you having joy in these moments.  

    He is so full of himself trying his best to justify why he is for a d.  And he may know, or at least has a strong sense he is in the  wrong.  He may not fully understand his will is in direct opposition with God's will.  And whenever that happens, our conscience is hit.  Even if he's desensitized his conscience, God can awaken it.  

    It's crazy how our spouses can actually blame us  for their inability to file.  And  that's pretty much what he's saying.  It you are being so nice (being Christ in the world) that he can not move  forward easily.

    Keep doing what  you are doing, being  kind and patient, doing the dares, prayers, reading, etc.

  • You stood for the  marriage, you were firm, yet showed love.  Changes happened.  Not sure what, but changes in you and  him, since you have opened the  door more fully for Christ to work.

  • I have expected my husband to file all week. Last night as I was walking the dog, I realized that God is protecting my marriage one day at a time. So, my prayer for you this morning is that God will protect your marriage today.

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