Collaborate without boundaries

Love always believes the best

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Each day God is revealing more and more to me through these challenges. All of my negative attributes are also things that I do. I was only able to write 6. My positive attribute list was at 43 within the first few minutes. I messaged and thank him for always being kind and gentle to me, even at our worst times. I expressed that it made me proud to have him as my husband. Again, no response. 

Tonight I met with our pastors wife. Her and her husband were close to divorcing several years ago and he won her heart back by doing something similar to the love dare. She encouraged me to sit down with him face to face tonight or to write a letter to him explaining my revelations this week since he plans to file papers tomorrow. I attempted to and we had our first face to face conversation about the situation. He kept his anger in check and actually looked at me a few times when I was trying not to cry. Once I was almost certain that something I said hit home. I told him that I was willing to do ANYTHING to save our marriage and that I can't imagine my life without us coming through this intact. For a slit second there was a softness in his eyes. He looked away and when he looked back it was gone. He expressed anger towards me for not letting him know what my plans were when he tried to discuss filing and him wanting us to move. 

At this all I could do was explain that I knew my answer was not one he was probably open to hearing. I told him that I would not sign divorce papers. He became very angry. He told me then that he couldn't make me sign them but that he would move forward with opening another account and that he was fine if we lost one of the cars if I didn't get it transferred out of his name. I cried a bit, told him good night and that I loved him. I went to my prayer room and wept to God. I read some scripture trying to remind myself that God is for us but it's hard to be mindful of that during the times that the pain is that deep. But God reminded me that Love always has faith, always has hope, always trust and never gives up. Then God reminded me that even in that moment I am supposed to believe the best from my spouse. This is hard. So, in my Room of Appreciation, I choose to enter the split second look and I choose to leave the hurtful conversation at the feet of my savior instead of in the Depreciation room. Before bed I will read through the long list of positives and start my day there tomorrow. Please pray for us as I know tomorrow will be devastating for me.  

  • I am proud of you.  That was a very tough decision you made to sit down with him and make yourself vulnerable when you could have just written a letter to him expressing the same thing.  These tough choices we make on a daily basis to pick ourselves up and make the decision that regardless of what happens we are going to be obedient in Christ.

    As far as the car, I know in Arizona it doesn't matter if his name gets taken off or not because the divorce is not final so he is still liable for the car and if it gets repossessed then it impacts him as well.  There is a lot of other legal mumbo jumbo involved that I hope you don't have to address.  Stay focused on the positives with yourself and the truths in God's word as I know how quickly satans lies can take you down.

  • :Going through what you did the best you could depending on Christ gained a new endurance in Christ in you.  A painful step that brought a new level of grace along with it.  

    Love is most  evident in  pain.  And he saw that.  You are part of his DNA through marriage.  It's going to be tough for  him to rip a  part of himself out.  And that part of him is you.  Two become one flesh.  He may not remember the words, but he is feeling the conviction of it all.

    Do not  worry of tomorrow.  God already has tomorrow covered just for  you.  And your husband doesn't even really know  what he wants.  he's like  a confused little boy wondering what's going to make him happy.  And he sees no happiness in what he is doing.  He's staring down a  dead end journey.  

  • Good job and I am proud of you for doing what you did, you did right and left it at our Saviors feet.  As Tim said do not be anxious for tomorrow look at Matthew 6: 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Leave all things for God and let him continue working on your husband and you work on yourself as you have done thus far.  Keep in prayer and stay out of the negative room as it make us think the worst.  Keep in your journey and keep your head up as God is always with us and will be even when we think we are alone.  I am glad that you are talking to many people and I hope you continue to surround yourself with believers as it helps you on this journey.  We are all here if you need to talk or just need a prayer.

    D-

  • Thank you guys for all of the support! I look forward to it every day. I don't see my husband struggling with his decision so it's nice to hear it from a man's perspective  I did call my attorney today. I called just so that I could be prepared to send a reply and to see if there is a cool off period requirement in our state. There is not. However, it became evident that I can not use them. They live by "why do you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you." For now, I am going to wait for his papers. I will have 30 days to figure things out if and when I get them. God will provide.

  • Sunday I went to church with my parents. This is the sermon that was preached at the church my husband and I chose to be our home church. (He also went with his parents.) I wanted to share because it gave me comfort and motivation today. Hope you guys listen and enjoy. http://subspla.sh/j9h5nq4

  • YOU ARE STRONG. Please believe this. It takes a strong person to do this dare when your the one that wants to remain married no matter what. Please keep us update. Please don't give up. Focus on God, not on husband. May God give you the strength and the courage to continue even though you see no reason to, and may you do it for you. For the sake of trying everything you can to save your marriage. Your not alone.

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