Collaborate without boundaries

Day 6

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Today's challenge excited me a bit. It didn't involve me having to communicate anything to my spouse but caused me to look deeper at myself. And then it happened... As soon as I sat down to eat lunch my husband messaged. He told me that he was going to meet with someone Wednesday to draw up divorce papers. He said that he was giving me two weeks to pack, open a new bank account and move. He said that he was going to allow the two weeks but not to see if we could make things work. Only for me to have some time to make plans. I wasn't sure how to reply. 

I told him that I had assumed that he was going this week (It's his day off). I told him that I am not trying to hurt him or the girls or make things harder on them but that when I married him I made a promise that divorce would never be an option for me. I told him that I am still committed to our marriage and that every day I make a choice to love him regardless of our circumstances. I told him that I had promised for better or for worse and even though this time is a "worse" for us I chose to honor that. I told him that I know I have not loved him the way God intended me to but I choose to do that to the best of my ability for as long as God allows me to. He again gave no response. I sat in my car and cried for my entire lunch break. 

I went to counseling tonight. The first time that I've went for just me. I left there even more confident that ever that our problems can be fixed and that I'm choosing to do the right thing. My body is definitely feeling the stress though. My doctor (whom I work for) put me on a non benzodiazepine anti anxiety medication. For months I have experience chest pain and now I have started showing some symptoms of a heart attack. It's been a pretty rough couple of days. Talking to the counselor definitely helped me to sort out a lot of the stresses though and I'm hopeful that going every week will eliminate the overwhelming feeling that I feel most all of the time. 

Every day I'm learning new things about myself and about God. I'm seeing things from my husbands perspective and I feel like I've been completely blind this last year. I can't imagine my life without him and without our family being intact. 

  • Remember the marriage covenant is written on his DNA.  That's pretty tough to fight for him or anyone.

    What he says is not final.  He has free will that God will not take away, yet God is working in him as you shed tears.

    in the hurt, find refuge in Christ.  In the bible in your favorite verses, in prayer, in church, with good Christian people.

    All works out for  good for  those that love God.  Trust in His divine providence for you and the girls.

  • Most states have a cooling off period of 60 days or so before a judge will look at the divorce and make a decree.  From a legal standpoint, I wouldn't move out.  From a biblical standpoint, I wouldn't move out.  Unless things are hostile and there are issues for safety, I wouldn't move out.  I am happy that your finally sought out medication to help you through this terrible time in your life and it helped me during my time, which I am off of now.  I will read your posts so I have a better idea of what you are going through and so I know in what way I should be praying for you.

  • Thank you so much!!

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