Collaborate without boundaries

Back after some R & R

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I'm back from a week and a half of travels. Last weekend, I traveled to South Mississippi to see my niece graduate from high school. From there, I traveled to Florida and spent a week with a dear friend of mine at the beach. The ocean always reminds me of God's nature.  Mighty, powerful, unfathomable, and lovely.  God the Creator reveals himself in his creation. Once back from the beach, I met my daughter yesterday and went wedding dress shopping with her. She said yes to the dress!  It's been a wonderful time of rest and relaxation for me.  Yet underneath the celebration and happy smiles, sorrow lurks just underneath the surface, and runs deep.

After my nieces graduation, I posted some pictures on Facebook, and DH liked my post. The next day was my son's birthday, and I posted his picture on Facebook with a happy birthday message. DH also liked that post. Several days later, I posted a picture of the beach, which he also liked.  I don't want to be his Facebook friend, I want to be his wife!   I miss him so much, sometimes I just can't hold the tears back.  I don't really understand why a man that divorced me is still liking my Facebook posts. A part of me is glad that he is, and another part of me wishes he wouldn't.  I know that he should have received my note that I mailed him, it probably arrived on the day of my nieces graduation.  Now that I'm back in town, I know that the time is drawing near for me to contact him about tying up all of our loose ends.  I dread it. I was reading a devotional this evening which said that when we are going through hard times, we tend to look back longingly at the seasons in our life that were happier.  The author made the point that because of the nature of time, there is only one direction to travel, and that is forward. No matter how much I want to go back, back to a time when things were good between me and DH, I cannot go back. The author said that in moving forward, I am to obediently follow Jesus. This hit me hard tonight. I don't want to move forward, I want to go back. I am praying for God to create in me a new heart, one that wants to move forward with Him.  
  • Remember that you are a child of God, he will give you the the desire your heart if you seek him, seek him, he will provide.

  • When we do our best to keep God first in our thoughts,  we see God, in nature, etc.  That's great you are keeping God in the forefront.  

    Even in joy you can experience that sorrow you felt.  But don't let the sorrow take over the joy of Christ.  Let the sorrow be what reminds you to keep Christ first.  And make sure you do not put the sorrow first in your life.  It can be easy to  do.  

  • Liking your posts could be the way he knows to show kindness.  Or a way for him to try to alleviate the conviction he feels.  Huh, this may be why my wife's friend has sent me a congrats message on linkedin.  Maybe she's feeling  conviction in being out with my wife all the time.  

  • That sorrow does run deep as it hides behind the smiles. I'm trying to figure out what Paul meant when he said he would rather glory in his infirmities. The NIV version says he will boast all the more gladly about his weakness. He does this so Christ's power may rest on him. God's power is made perfect in weakness. It's a hard concept to grasp because the pain is so deep but we all should be like Paul and be glad that we have the opportunity to show God's power in our lives. If we can walk away from this with 100% faith in Christ that is a tremendous testimony to Him.

    It would be nice to have an explanation why he is liking your Facebook posts. My wife still wants to be friends or something like that also. I don't understand it. Someone put something on here a few weeks ago about talking to their therapist about it not being possible to remain friends with someone who is forcing divorce on you. I wonder why our spouses think we can do that? Not only does it seem ethically wrong it completely defies the word of God. I have no answers for this.

    Moving forward is going to be different. That's hard to face. We don't like different. We didn't see anything wrong with before. Or at least nothing so wrong that it warranted a divorce. Even moving forward together is possible. And it would definitely be different. That's the evolution of a relationship. But it's something both people have to face. When one gives up the other just has to wait patiently. During that time God can do a lot with you.

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