Collaborate without boundaries


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Silence.  It’s hard.  I haven’t heard from DH since I left his house night before last after sharing my thoughts about conviction and the Holy Spirit.  It’s hard to know exactly how to handle it.  I know that God is working in the silence.  Psalm 62:5 says “My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from him.” 


I would really love to see DH this weekend.  He is probably working Saturday, but I know that if I asked him to come over Saturday evening, he would.  I think he would like to see me too.  My friends say that the ball is in his court and that I just need to wait for him to let me know that he wants to see me,  I am having a hard time with that.  I know that ultimately, the ball IS in his court – I mean, after all, only he can choose to stop the divorce proceedings.  But I miss him and would like to see him and I know if I called him, he would come over.  I don’t want to try and take control from God in this situation either.  I know that DH is surely doing a lot of thinking right now.  It’s 2 ½ weeks until our court date.  There’s a part of me that doesn’t think he will keep it, and a part of me that’s scared.  I know that no matter what, God is in control and is working everything for good.  Thinking that this may be over in a couple of weeks sure does make me want to see him even more!  I want to text him and invite him to dinner tomorrow, but I don’t want to do the wrong thing.  Since when could it be the wrong thing to have dinner with your husband??  This situation is just so messed up sometimes!


I am praying tonight for God’s guidance in the silence.



  • stay strong

  • I doubt I have any more thoughts than you do about this, so I will just see what comes out as I type.

    You are right as far as the ball is in his court in how he uses his free will.  But I get the impression others say it in a more worldly way.  Like they may be saying, it's up to him to come to you.  You should not put yourself out there and be vulnerable to him.  That's my impression anyway.

    He is your husband, why cant you invite him over?  He is your God and has fixed things and gotten things to this point, so why not keep Him in full control and just Be still and know He's God.  Seems like both of these sentences negate each other.  

  • inviting him over to see your husband may be one thing.  But inviting him over because you are a little scared or worried about the approaching court date is another.

    I know i am just repeating what you already said and know.

    In your decision, if you find real peace of God in the decision, i think that is your answer in what to do. IF you feel uncertainty or confusion, it is probably best continue to be still.

    If you invite him over, remind yourself you didn't invite him over to take control from God.  God's gotten things to this point, often working through you.  so, keep open and seeking wisdom in what God wants and doesn't want you to do.

  • Many people quit doing the dares to ever get to this point of possibly having their spouse come back. And the others that do get to this point of a possible reconcilliation leave the site. So, I have not learned from reading responses to people in your position.  

    So, no matter what your husband does, you can be the person that leads the way in helping people. Especially people who have spouses that are admitting and realizing they are convicted by Christ and are wondering if they are making the right decision,  and there conscience through Christ is getting to them.

  • Your comment about the world not wanting me to put myself out there and make myself vulnerable makes a lot of sense. I read in a book back during the summer that in order for intimacy to truly exist, you have to to make yourself vulnerable.  I read in the same book that when someone is on the fence, they will not come down off the fence until they feel safe.  My own vulnerability is part of what makes the other person feel safe. With that said, I have to put myself out there. Not in a controlling way. Not in a begging way. Not in a manipulative way. But rather, in a loving way. Thanks, Tim, for your thoughts.

  • Along with feeling convicted, remember he is surely scared.  Scared if he goes through a d he will regret it. And even if regret is why he chooses to stay married, that's okay, it leads to time for him to learn to love as you love as Christ loves.

    And he's scared if he decides to reconcile that he cant make it work.  That there may be, in his thoughts, to much damage in what he's done to you, that it won't make him happy, and any other thoughts evil gives him or the flesh comes up with.

    being scared may be the next emotion he deals with after he chooses to listen to God's will and workout  the affects of conviction.

  • LOL.  I just reread your reply to try to pick up more of what you said about being vulnerable.  Something I can learn from.  And realize you already talked about him being scared, by saying he needs to feel safe.  

  • That uncertainty is fear and fear is from the devil. Don't think about the court date. I say that but I think about mine also. I'm in this with you. We can't do anything except control ourselves.

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