Collaborate without boundaries

Living in Awe

  • Comments 2

 

Awe.  Amazement.  Gratitude.  Wonder.  Words cannot begin to describe what is in my heart.  The God of the universe answered my prayers.  Mine.  I don’t deserve it.  I am humbled by it and brought to tears.

I sent DH a text this afternoon and asked if I could drop by this evening.  He said that he would probably be working late, and I told him to just let me know what would be convenient for him.  He called me around 6:00 and said that he was going to hop in the shower and eat some dinner, and we agreed on sometime between 7-7:30.  He called me about 20 minutes later and asked if I had eaten yet.  I said no, and he said that he was making a big grilled chicken salad and that there would be plenty for two if I would like to come eat with him.  I told him I would love to.  When I got to his house, we sat and ate and chit chatted.  While we were cleaning up the kitchen, he asked what was up.  I asked what he meant, and he told me that he could tell that I was wanting to talk about something.  I nodded, and so we finished putting the food away before we sat down to talk.  I told him that something had been weighing heavy on my heart since Friday, and that I had written him a letter but decided that I needed to share it in person.  I asked him if it would be ok to read the letter.  He said yes, so I began.  I told him that I had been moved with compassion by the guilt that he was experiencing, and wondered if he understood where that guilt was coming from.  I explained that one of the roles of the Holy Spirit is to convict men of sin.  Basically, I told him that the guilt he was feeling was God at work in his life, God loving him, God relentlessly pursuing him.  I told him that I did not stand in judgement, that I can’t.  But that I do stand in love.  The letter was 2 pages, typed single space.  When I was done, he thanked me.  He told me that he appreciated what I had said.  I said “You do?”  and he replied “Yes”.  He told me that he had wondered if the guilt he was feeling was the Holy Spirit, and said that he thought the Holy Spirit had spoken to him a couple of times.  I didn’t ask any questions, I just let him talk.  He didn’t say much more, but he asked if I could leave the letter with him.  I told him yes.  I told him that I knew he still had a lot to do for the evening (making his lunch, etc) and so I told him that I was leaving.  He wanted me to stay, but it was already 8:30 and he usually goes to bed around 9:00.  So he kissed me and said goodnight.  I left.  As has been the norm now for weeks, I have no idea when I will see/hear from him again.

I have prayed specifically that God would convict DH’s heart through the work of the Holy Spirit.  I have asked God to prepare DH’s heart to receive the truth.  I have prayed that God would open DH’s eyes so that he could see and recognize truth.  As I sat and listened to the few words that DH had to say this evening, I realized that God answered these requests that I have asked of him.  I am humbled that God is working through my prayers and those of my friends praying for me.  I stand in amazement.  His timing is perfect.  I look back and realize that the rounds of dares that I completed were not only refining my heart, but they paved the way for me to have credibility when I approached DH tonight with the truth of God’s word.  Friday night, I was blessed with the opportunity to see the Holy Spirit at work in DH’s heart as he shared his struggle with guilt.  Tonight, I was blessed with the opportunity to see a heart that was receptive and kind in spite of the fact that it was being called out for sin.  God has convicted his heart.  God has prepared his heart.  And God answered my prayers for guidance and the right words.

I asked DH tonight if he had heard anything about a new court date.  He paused and then said that it was scheduled for April 24, and said that he had received an email a couple of days ago.  I didn’t say anything, just nodded my head.  I wonder why he didn’t let me know like he said he would?  That bothers me a little bit, but I am choosing to believe the best.  Perhaps he didn’t tell me because he is having serious doubts that he will actually keep the date.

It’s time once again to be still and know that he is God.  To sit back and watch and see what mighty works God will do.  I know that ultimately, DH has free will to choose the divorce, but I can definitely say that even if that happens, God answered prayer on April 4.  And to think, my divorce was supposed to be granted yesterday (original court date).  Thank you, God, for protecting my marriage for one more day.

  • Amazing beyond understanding.

    Your testimony through the rounds of dares has led to this fruit.

    His timing is perfect.  

    I was surprised your husband felt and heard the Holy Spirit.  but that is me not understanding to have no expectations.  

    No matter what he chooses to do, people in the future will need to read your journals and testimony.

  • I am overjoyed. I REALLY wish I could write journals as beautiful as yours. You seem to have submitted completely to God. I can't say that. I want to but there is so much hurt inside of me that I can't seem to let go as you have. God is surely blessing you.

    It's hard to describe how happy I am for you.

Page 1 of 1 (2 items)