Collaborate without boundaries

Mass confusion

  • Comments 4

Well, I am more confused now than I think I ever have been. DH had absolutely no idea about our upcoming court date. I opened up our conversation this evening by telling him thank you for coming over and saying that I figured with only 10 days left it was time to figure out how to end things. He asked me what I meant by 10 days. I told him that our court date was set for 10 days from now and then in 10 days we would be divorced. He was in shock.  Apparently, his attorney did not notify him of this. He told me that he had told his daughter that he was thinking about asking the attorney to postpone it.  I asked him why he would do that, and he said because he wasn’t sure that he was doing the right thing. He said he missed me.  He said that he missed me in a selfish way, that he missed all the things that I used to do for him. But he also said that he just missed me.  He said he realized that no relationship would ever be perfect, and that even though we had differences, there was also a lot of good.  I told him the story about Peter in Acts 2, when he spoke to the Jews about how they killed Christ, and their response. They were deeply troubled over what they had done, and asked what they should do. Peter basically said to turn around and go the other direction (repent).  I’m not sure how DH took that. But I felt very compelled to say it.  I feel that I was able to speak the truth in love. He didn’t say anything in response.  He did tell me later in the conversation that he had been thinking a lot about what I had said the last time we had a conversation, about what the right thing to do is.  I still don’t see anything that makes me think he will forgo the divorce, but I do see that his heart is totally conflicted. I guess that’s an answer to prayer. I have been praying for his heart to be pierced unto repentance.  When he left, he hugged me tight and told me that he would be in touch.

I still feel like we will end up divorced. But I am so thankful that I learned what I did through the dares.  If I had given up and left this past summer, I would have missed out on these precious moments. Moments that were only made possible because I decided to take a stand for my marriage, and trusted God to teach me how to love DH in spite of the circumstances. Continuing to love him has given me great joy.  
  • I assumed his lawyer didn't tell him about the date.  I am glad you mentioned it to him.  

    He may throw in there about missing the things you do for him. But, what the feeling of missing what you do will further turn him into missing the love you shared with him.  He will realize the things you did were nice, but what he really misses is being offered patience and kindness, unconditional love.  

    We always say on this site do not draw a line in the sand or give an ultimatum to our spouse.  But I think maybe that's what God is possibly doing to your husband with the 10 days.  Because now your husband knows you didn't come up with the 10 day period,but he knows to rid himself of conviction, he has to do it within the 10 days.

    Pray he is given wisdom in this and can let go of pride and going back on his even by the world's standards foolish choice.

  • no matter what happens, love wins.  He now more than ever can see he needs to come back and also seek forgiveness.  And only God's love, shared  by you, has gotten him to this point.  

  • Tim, I think you are right.  God is drawing the line.

  • I can see God‘s hand all over this. Even if DH by his free will chooses to leave our marriage, I am still able to say that my prayers have been answered. In these last days, I have seen the evidence of God‘s work. God has chipped away at DH‘s heart of stone, allowing him to be kind and loving to me – a far cry from June, July, and August. God has kept the attorney from notifying DH of the court date. And God is convicting him as evidenced by his wondering if he should postpone the divorce. Our God is a truly good God. He is doing so much to reel DH in, and I can see that.  God be praised, he has protected my marriage for one more day!

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