Collaborate without boundaries

I want to believe

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I didn’t hear anything from DH today.  I can hardly believe that he doesn’t know when our court date is.  Surely his attorney has let him know by now.  If he knows, I am really shocked that I haven’t heard from DH about it.  If I haven’t heard anything from him about the date by Saturday, I am going to send him a text and ask if he’s found out what the date is. 


I think that I will see if DH wants to get together and talk face to face this weekend.  I feel like I need to share something with him before the divorce is final.  I have been praying that God would pierce DH’s heart unto repentance, just like what happened to the Jews in Acts 2.  I pulled out my Bible and read that passage earlier this week.  Peter was preaching to the Jews, telling them that they crucified Jesus, that they were responsible for killing the Son of God.  When they heard this, they were pierced in their hearts.  Some versions say they were deeply troubled, others say they came under deep conviction.  Their response was to ask “What must we do?”  A more modern version translates it “Now what do we do?”  The first word of Peter’s response was “Repent”.  As I was reading it, the question “what must we do?” stuck in my head.  It was like the Spirit was guiding my study and my thoughts, and it came to me that DH is asking the same question.  I want to look DH in the eye, and ask him if deep down inside, does he really want the divorce or has he convinced himself that he wants a divorce because he hasn’t known what else to do.  I think he will say he hasn’t known what else to do.  I could be wrong about that, but I think that’s what he would say.  If that’s what he says, I want to share with him this story.  How the Jews looked at their behavior, felt bad about what they had done, but honestly didn’t know where to go from there or what to do.  Peter’s response was to tell them to repent.  A word that means simply to turn around and go in the opposite direction.  I think that I could share that in a gentle and loving way.  I was reading a sermon online this morning that said as Christians, we have a responsibility to gently and lovingly correct and guide fellow believers when they go astray.  When they are clearly acting in a way that violates God’s will as expressed in his word.  Divorce clearly falls in that category.  Am I out of line for sharing this with DH? 


I am having a hard time emotionally since the date was set for our divorce hearing.  I have cried so much that the muscles in my neck are sore.  I am continuing to pray night and day for God to save this marriage.  My only weapon in this battle is prayer, and I am doing that from the sidelines.  God is on the frontline doing the real work, waging war with the forces of evil that threaten my marriage and the heart of my husband.  It has been very hard to sit still these last couple of days since I found out the court date.  I feel panicked.  And I am not ready to give up on my marriage.  I just can’t accept the reality of divorce.  I can’t.  I just can’t let go of hope.  Most everyone around me at this point is wanting me to accept it now, reminding me that DH has free will.  But I don’t want to accept it.  I want to believe that God can and will restore my marriage.  Well, I know he can.  I want to believe he will.  I don’t know what to believe or hope for anymore.

  • I know people mean well when they say someone has free will.  This is true, but do we not, as believers, believe God knows exactly what someone needs for repentance to happen?  I shared before how I stood in a back yard and shook my fist at the sky and told God I wanted nothing to do with Him.  My free will said NO to God!  But here I am, in love with the same God I said no to all those years ago.  Did my "free will" hinder God from pursuing me anyway?  Do you think at any time God thought, "Oh my, I simply do not have a clue what it's going to take to open Linda's eyes and bring her to a place of repentance."?  He knew.  He called and I heard, when the time God appointed for me to hear had come.  So why is it so hard to believe that if God can do it for one, He can do it for others?   Always remember that our timing is never God's timing, but His timing is always perfect.  We are to just continue to pray and believe.  If for no other reason than to build up our own faith and trust in God.

  • I also believe that if someone we are praying for does not have that appointed time, the Holy Spirit will not continue to lead us to pray for them.  I believe that as long as my spirit is troubled for someone, then the Holy Spirit is leading me to pray for them.  NO matter what, I do know our prayers are not wasted, ever.

  • Make sure your trust in God is stronger than your desire for the marriage to be saved.  

    I still feel a bit of unease about the letting him know about the court date.  But is simply letting him know the court date you trying to control things or get a reaction or is it you just simply trying to make sure he has information that  he should know, but may not know.  I am looking at it as you letting him know as a way of giving him information he has a right to know.

  • Don't let go of hope.  That would be letting go of God.  Keep faith and hope  that our perfect God has perfect plans for you.  Let go of the panic.  And let God know your trust in Him beats your emotions and  feelings of  anxiety or panic.  Where we worry the most is where we trust God  the least.

  • I want to ask my wife a very similar question. I want to ask her if she thinks she has gone so far that there is no turning back. I really believe that could be the case. For me and for you. They just don't realize the actual power of grace and forgiveness. Peter simply put it "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of sins." So simple yet so hard when pride is involved.

    You are absolutely right about gently correcting a brother or sister in Christ. Coming from you though is the tough part because to him its probably going to look like you are trying to be manipulative. That's how it was for me. My wife got very angry when I would share scripture with her. She would actually use other scripture out of context to fight me. Pray about it.

    Your last paragraph is exactly how I feel. I mean spot on. I don't think we should let go of hope. That's what Christians do... hope. Everyone around me is telling me to accept it and move on also, except my church. But even if the d happens, which it will for me also, it doesn't mean it's over. God will still be working. I figured out something yesterday that I believe God did when I didn't expect it. I'll share that in today's journal.

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