Collaborate without boundaries

God's plans cannot be hindered

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I called the Circuit Court Clerk this afternoon, and my divorce hearing is set for April 3 at 8:30.  As much as you think you are prepared, you never are.  I burst into tears when the lady told me.  At least I was off the phone before I really started sobbing.  I have cried and cried.  That is just two weeks from tomorrow.  Just typing this is making me cry all over again.  I think that DH will be totally shocked when he finds out how soon the hearing will be.  He told me on Thursday that it was his understanding that the hearing would be at least 60 days from today, but I told him that my understanding was that it had to be at least 60 days from the day I was first served, which was January 25.  I told him that I could be wrong, but it looks like I wasn’t.  DH seemed to act like he thought he had plenty of time to do some soul-searching.  The possibility that I may be declared divorced 2 weeks from tomorrow is gut-wrenching.  It’s horrifying.  The night before I moved out, I asked DH to let me know when the court date would be.  He said that he would.  I am wondering if I will hear from him regarding the date that has been set.

There is a part of me that thinks that perhaps this swiftly-approaching date is an answer to prayer.  Maybe I am just grasping at straws – but my friends and I have been fervently praying that DH would postpone the hearing.  The fact that DH thought that the hearing would be at least 60 days from now, and the fact that it is in just 2 weeks, and the fact that he said he needs to do some serious soul-searching – it makes me wonder if God orchestrated this swiftly-approaching date in order to influence DH to ask for more time and postpone it.  Perhaps the extra time will be God’s chosen time to provide the opportunity and means by which he can open DH’s heart to pay attention, as God did with Lydia in Acts 16. 

I was convicted of something in my prayer/study time today that I am ashamed of.  I have begun to fervently pray for DH’s relationship with Jesus as a result of this journey – but I should have been caring and praying for his relationship with God from the very beginning.  It was unloving for me not to pray, and selfish of me to only start praying for his relationship after he said that he wanted a divorce.  I am deeply ashamed of this.  I have asked God to forgive me, and thanked him for opening my eyes to DH’s true need, and moving my spirit to pray for him.  This journey has opened my eyes to so much sin and ugliness in my own heart.  The pride, selfishness, disrespect, controlling behavior, and lack of prayer on behalf of my husband – all things that needed to be exposed and dealt with.  I am thankful to God for doing so. 

I know that even though the court date is set for the divorce, God is not limited by that.  He is actively at work, just as the shepherd goes out after the one lost sheep.  God is relentlessly pursuing DH (just as he relentlessly pursues us all). And his plans cannot be hindered.

  • As you point out there may be plenty of blessings in the two week deadline.  It may just jar him so much that he will jump off the so called soul searching fence and realize  he needs to postpone  or cancel the d.  God can do so much in what we see as so little time.

  • I really didn't like reading your second to last paragraph.  Because it  revealed truth about me.  I am so glad all of you get so much out of your  walk in Christ.  It makes me realize how little I have grown.  

  • I completely understand that gut wrenching feeling. My hearing is May 3rd but I don't think anything will be finalized then because of the custody battle. I requested an attorney for the children so they can have a say in court. It's a terrible feeling for the end to be in sight but this is just one ending. There could be a happier better ending in the future with you two together. It's happened before so never doubt.

    Boy I wish God would do some Lydia type stuff for us all.

    Someone commented on my journal a few weeks ago about changing up my prayer for my wife. I started praying for the evil to be lifted form her and for her to start obeying her conviction. I told an elder at church that it just doesn't feel like its working but nonetheless I continue to pray for that everyday. I see sin in myself everyday and the more things my wife does to me the harder it is to fight it. But the only way is to get into the Bible when you feel like that. Romans 12:19-21 was put in front of me a few days ago. Basically telling me to keep being nice and it will heap coals upon her head. Fight evil with good. Because I can't talk to her the only way I can really be nice is to not talk bad about her and pray for her which is what we all should be doing anyway.

    Your journals help keep me accountable for my own thoughts and actions. Thank you and thank the Lord.

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