Collaborate without boundaries

Devastated

  • Comments 7

I no sooner posted my last journal entry then I went to get mail out of the mailbox, and the motion for default judgment was in the mail.  I am devastated. I feel like a fool for even thinking that he might postpone things. I sent DH a text telling him that I got it in the mail today. He sent me a text back saying that he’s at work and that I have mail at his house and that I can come pick it up anytime. I will never understand why he is divorcing me.  I wish I did.  The hearing for default is Monday, March 19.   I think that I will just send him a text back letting him know that he can leave the mail on the porch and that I will pick it up Monday on my way to work. I think it’s probably best at this point that I accept the divorce and cut ties, as much as that grieves me.

  • Update to post:

    I sent DH a text that said “I have been thinking about the mail, and as much as I would love to see you, I think that it is probably best for you to wrap it up in a grocery sack and leave it on the porch.  I can pick it up Tuesday afternoon on my way back into town”.  His first reply wa “ well, seeing you is great, but I will do whatever you want.”   He then added, “l would love to see you too.”  He’s killing me.  I haven’t responded. How is it that I man pursuing a divorce would still love to see me?

  • As he lets the d continue,but still wants to see you.....Think of how you (all of us) continue with sin, yet still want God.

    We all sin and most of us want God.....But it doesn't really make sense. Why do we all continue to sin but say we want to grow in Christ?

    Now, are you wanting to pick up the mail when he's not there so you don;t have to face him?  Or to how him what it's like without you in his life?  For whatever reason just make sure it is a choice that is still showing kindness and not being a little rebellious.  

  • We have all suffered in this trial.  You are at a new or different level of suffering in seeing things come closer to being finalized.  But, take time to thank God that in this new level, He has brought you to a point where you are handling it so well, compared to if you chose not to follow Christ's will.

    As you know he has free will.  As you know God is the final author.  Maybe God is asking you to strengthen your faith and hope in Him in this time, so you have absolute confidence no matter what happens, you trust in His divine providence for you.

    Seek wisdom in what you need to do or not do, and how to use this to continue growth in Him.  

  • I doubt you will ever be satisfied in any explanation of why this is happening.  I don't think he can really rationalize why he is choosing this.  He can say he is selfish, but why be selfish to the detriment of himself?  I don't think you will ever get a true answer.  

    Find peace in God and let the why's of all of this go.  The answers to the why's will never be satisfactory, whereas God always is more than satisfactory.  

  • Sorry, not sure if I am making sense.  My eyes keep closing, slept over 8 hours and still tired.  As always take anything from the responses that help or make sense and throw the rest out.  

  • Tim, there is so much truth to what you said - we still sin even though we want God in our lives.  Sin separates us from God, yet we do it anyway.  Thanks for pointing that out.  As much as what DH is doing hurts me, I hurt God when I choose sin.

  • So confusing. At least I know my wife doesn't want anything to do with me. I have no reason for it but at least I know. You are on a seesaw. I can understand your confusion. None of us know what the future holds so it's hard to imagine what can happen. I know that statistically 50% of marriages end in divorce and 21% of those end up remarried to each other. It's weird but it happens. You just have to worry about yourself. You will go insane thinking about all those questions you are pondering. I hope God gives you some kind of answer soon because I don't really know what to say to you.

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