Collaborate without boundaries


  • Comments 8

Struggle. That’s the only way I can describe it.   Gut wrenching struggle. In seeking direction from God, he has given me three verses. Trust and obey. Be still and know that I am God. Pray without ceasing.  Are these things in conflict with my desire to send DH a simple text that says “Miss you”?   I want him to know that I’m thinking about him and that he is missed. I don’t want him to erroneously conclude that my lack of communication means that I have decided to shut the door, so to speak.   I realize that I am powerless in the situation. The divorce will most likely happen. Only God can bring about a transformation of DH‘s heart.  I continue to pray that God will grant repentance through godly sorrow.  Does a text that says I miss him mean that I haven’t let go and given it to God?  

  • I'm right beside you in that struggle. Every situation is unique. I've found out in mine that any message from me to my wife only angers her. Actually to the point where she made up lies about abuse to prevent me from contacting her. But as I think about the same things you are- Will my lack of communication lead her to believe I've given up? I have to believe that she knows how strongly I am against what she is doing because I have been fighting it so hard. I no longer have to say it. So I'm sure that DH knows you feel the same way. He knows you still love him and you are fighting FOR the marriage but there's nothing you can do except pray for him.

    I wouldn't text to say you miss him because he surely knows that already but maybe you could just ask how he is doing. Leave it up to him to bring up a subject if he wants to talk.

  • My feelings on this is unless he specifically told you to not communicate with him, I see no reason why you shouldn't let him know you are thinking of him and yes, if you want to tell him you miss him, I don't think that is wrong either.  Should he tell you at any time to stop contacting him, then it would be not so good an idea to contact him.  Don't be like me and barrel on in, because if they don't want to be contacted, when it's thrown back in your face, the pain is harsh.  If he hasn't expressed he wants no contact with you, I don't think it's a bad idea to contact him.

  • He has not ever expressed a desire for me to have no communication with him. In fact, it has been just the opposite. When we parted ways this past Sunday, he told me that I could call him anytime. How crazy is that? I’m divorcing you but you can call me anytime!

  • Remember how in the beginning you like most of us, struggled so much with being hit with the d talk? Then, you began doing the dares, and began feeling the  peace of Christ?  Do you see how that trial brought you closer to God and brought you His peace He promises?

    So, now let this new phase of this trial do the same.   Right now you have no excuses not to keep trusting God.  He has shown you in the past months how much you can depend on Him now.  You have proof.  So, go back to trusting Him in the unknown, and  stop the struggle.  

  • Gut wrenching is you so badly wanting to follow your flesh but your conscience tells you your flesh is possibly in conflict with God's ways.  

    You have been given the  Be still, so right now, do that.  Be still.

    Be still until your desire to contact him isn't consuming you.  Right now, turn that consuming  desire of contacting him into a  consuming desire to continue to grow in God in faith hand  hope and this will bring you a  new level of endurance in Him.

  • And then when you are in peace, realize you are contacting him because you are his wife, he is your  husband,  not  that  you are contacting him because your flesh is so desiring him.  Until your desire for God is winning out over your desire for him, let the contacting him go.  

    And then look how rewarding it will be to again have  God way above your desire for contact.  and then when you contact, you will have  peace about doing so, and I bet the conversation be it text, a call, an email, will go so much better.

  • Until you contact, let God work in you and him.  My thoughts anyway.

  • Tim's probably right.  I am a woman, ruled many times by my emotions.  We want to do do do when God is saying wait wait wait.  Pray and let God lead  you about contacting.  Sometimes the insistent feeling to do something is our own heart driving us, but sometimes it is God nudging us to go forth.  Pray about it and let God lead you.  Your 'knower' will know when it's from God.

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