Collaborate without boundaries

A difficult evening

  • Comments 4

I have spent the bulk of the last two days preparing my house to move back into. Cleaning, lining cabinets, etc.  I have barely made a dent in packing, and I need to have it all done by Wednesday night since I will be out of town on Thursday and Friday for work.  I have completely emptied the china cabinet and have it all packed into boxes.  I am taking half a day off tomorrow, and all day Tuesday and Wednesday.

Tonight has been particularly painful.  As I arrived home this evening from cleaning, and drove into our driveway, DH was outside grilling chicken.  He grills meat every Sunday evening, enough for a couple of nights so it makes cooking weeknight dinner easier during the week.  I started crying as I realized this was the last time.  I cried as I prepared dinner, realizing it was our last Sunday dinner together.  I cried as I prepared his medicine/pill box for the week for the last time.  I packed china during the first half of the Super Bowl, as tears streamed down my face.  At one point I sat down and told God that I realize this world is not my home, I am just passing through.  I know the glories of heaven far outweigh this grief.  But oh how this is grief.  Just 5 more nights in our home.  It doesn't seem possible.  Tomorrow night I have a list of questions that I need to go over with DH.  Things like does he want this or that, does he want any of our wedding photos, does he want a couple of pieces of furniture I am not taking with me, etc.  I am going to ask him if there is anything I can do to help him out before I move.  I am trying hard to continue to show love despite my grief and fatigue.  I don't feel like I am doing a very good job.
  • I am not sure if you feel like you aren't doing a good job is because of the crying.  if that's the reason, well, crying in this case is surely not a sign of not doing a good job.

    I think you are doing great, showing kindness even in the last days.  Who can look at how you've not reacted negatively and just showed love say you aren't doing a great job.

    Hold your head high, because God is in you and you are living in God's ways.  

    Know just because a court of man says a d is finalized does not mean it overrules God healing this marriage.  

    Be content in all things.  

  • If memories of the rituals that you are seeing as coming to an end, replace the thoughts of those  rituals with the rituals you have now with God.  Praying at certain times in the day, such as if you wake up and pray, go to bed and pray, read the bible at certain times, think of God first when you are having a rough or good moment, etc.

  • That’s a great way to think about that, Tim.  The things in my life that have become routine with God. They are so much more meaningful than any routine I could ever have with man.  Things in my life that have become routine with God. They are so much more meaningful than any routine I could ever have with man.

  • Being in heaven one day will make all this pain go away but I understand how grievous it is. It's very difficult to let go. I think since we have no way of knowing what the future holds maybe we aren't really letting go. Maybe we are waiting. Maybe something will change. God is always at work and He will take care of everything. We have to trust Him to make our path and then we have to follow it. Follow Him and the future has to be bright. God is good....all  the time. Remember what happened to Job .He suffered more than we can probably imagine but God took care of him in the end.

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