Collaborate without boundaries

R4D22 It’s all about me!

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I was able to spend almost 4 hours studying God’s word and praying this morning. I pulled out two different books that I brought with me, one is a 365 day devotional, and another is a 31 day book of daily prayers.  God had a message for me today, and it came through loud and clear.  It turns out that both devotionals were based on the same exact concept this morning - It is to be thankful for trials.  To welcome them as friends rather than intruders.  To understand that difficulties are an opportunity to see God work.   I ran across Isaiah 30:20 this morning - (NLT) “Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you.”  God is using this trial, this season in my life, to teach me.  ME.  Not to teach DH, but to teach me.  I have been so focused on the change that needs to occur in DH’s life that I have partially lost sight of the change that needs to occur in mine.  In the beginning, I was much more aware of my own need to grow and change. But as my DH has stayed the course with his heart set on divorce, and my days seem numbered, I have taken my eyes off Jesus.  With my eyes on Jesus, it’s so much easier to see my own shortcomings and my need for a Savior. But when I turn my focus away from Jesus and give my attention to DH, all that I see are his shortcomings and his need to change.  His growth is really none of my concern. That’s between him and God.  God is asking me to trust him in this trial and praise him through the pain, and to be grateful for where I am.  I read this morning that if you are thankful for a trial, it loses its power to drag you down.  

I did not speak with DH today.  I sent him a good morning text this morning when I woke up, and he replied back with one word, “work”!  He always jokes when I tell him to have a good day that he is headed to work so how could it be good. I tried calling him at dinner time, but he did not answer, and he never returned my call.  This is the first day in about five months that we haven’t actually spoken.  I decided not to try and call again, but instead to just be still.  Today’s dare was to tell him that I choose to love him. I did not get it completed.  It had been my intent to tell him when I called.  I will text him good morning again tomorrow, and try to call him again too.  
  • Thank you for the post. I have been doing the same thing on and off. I need to keep working on me. Thank you for the reminder. This is OUR journey with God it is not about our spouses. I hope I said that the right way. Ultimately, we all desire to have our marriages reconciled. That has been my prayer for all of us on here. I just need to get my eyes back on God. Thank you Determined. How about when he isn't able to take you call then leave a message. That's what I do. Just a thought. Then, he can hear the message and let God do the rest.

  • wow, 4 hours, that would  wear me out I think. I am sure you got great growth from that.  

    As Peggy said, keep this about your journey when you feel yourself looking at your husband.  And also like she said, could you have left the message?

    Be cautious  of doing more than a dare a day, such as extra texts and calls.  Not only can it hit them wrong at times and  feel we are getting in there space, but it can for now also lead us into looking for comfort from their response instead of only seeking Christ's comfort  for now.

  • I understand his growth is none of our concern.  Because right now, other than praying for him selflessly, you can not  change him.

    but, if reconciliation takes place, it is both of your jobs to lead each other to Jesus and heaven.  

  • I texted my wife on that day that I choose to love her no matter what she does. I wanted her to see it and be able to reread it and think about it. I really want her to know that I will love her no matter what decision she makes. It's not for her, it's for me. For me to love like Christ. I still carry around the article that someone put on here a week or so ago about how one person CAN save a marriage. I read it everyday and it gives me hope.

    You're so right. We cannot change our spouse but we can show them the change in us. If they choose not to accept it then they lose out on the type of relationship WE have now with God. When I think about it I feel sorry for them. I want them to experience the joy and peace God gives.

    This trial has brought me infinitely closer to God and I still have miles to go. It is so wonderful. I feel like I am like Paul- I can understand how he rejoiced even though his life was very difficult. God is teaching us so much right now. He is teaching you- as you said. This is for you, not DH.

    "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

    Philippians 4:7

  • Thank you for the post and a gentle reminder!  I am guessing your devotional is Jesus Calling and it has been a blessing through this now two and a half year trial.

  • Yes PAR,  One of the devotionals I am referring to is Jesus Calling.   It has been a total blessing to me since I began it in January.

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