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R4D16 Christian life is a struggle

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I find myself still praying for the same things that I wrote down during round 1 of this dare.  I suppose in a way that's good - it reminds me of Jesus in Luke 11 telling the story about the persistent friend in the middle of the night.  But it has dawned on me that I haven't been quite as fervent in prayer lately.  I think on some level, I have become discouraged and lost hope.  From the very beginning, I have prayed that the Holy Spirit would prepare DH's heart for the work God desires to do in it, for DH to see and hear truth above the lies of Satan, and for him to be lifted out of depression to find God's joy and peace.  I have prayed that our marriage would be reconciled, that DH and I could find things to do and enjoy together, and that we would once again delight in each other.  I have also prayed that God would create a new heart within me, teach me to love unconditionally, teach me humility, and enable DH to see Christ in me.  I struggle with the flesh as Paul talks about in Romans 7.  I struggle against selfish motives and prideful behaviors.  I struggle with losing hope.  

DH's colonoscopy was clear today, praise God!  It's the first clean one in the three years we have been married.  Previous 2 both had cancerous lesions, the most recent 6 months ago.  What a relief.  It was a little awkward at the hospital this morning, but I did manage to kiss him on the cheek before they took him back.  It's also weird to get a good report from a doctor.  That just hasn't happened during our marriage.  This afternoon, DH wanted to get out and do a little Christmas shopping.  Since he couldn't drive today, I took him.  I enjoyed getting out with him.  Thankful for these days.  I am beginning to feel like they are swiftly coming to an end.  I am trying so hard not to think that way.  I always chop fruits and veges for the week over the weekend.  I didn't this past weekend due to the colonoscopy, and did so today.  As I was chopping, I thought to myself how this just might be one of the last times I do this for my DH.  It's like when my mom was terminal with cancer.  I cherished each day as I saw the end approaching.  I am struggling with that feeling now.  
  • Keep your eyes on Jesus. Focus on the good. Yea, his colonoscopy was clear. Did you hear what you said" That hasn't happened during our marriage....It's also weird to get a good report from a doctor. God is working my friend! Don't lose hope. Jesus is your hope. My husband always says a funny little thing like, "If you look for golf balls what do you think you're going to see?  Golf balls, of course. Get some good rest tonight. Trust in God. He's got this. Remember to thank God for the gift of the clear test and spending some shopping time with your husband. Joy can be found in the little things. Peace.

  • Not sure if you mean one of the last times to do this  because of his health or because a d may happen.  Either way, do not dwell on these things, like the negativity room, leave it and move to the positive or the good in all of this.  Much to  be thankful for, let that fill you.

    Sometimes our prayers may not feel so fervent as they were in the beginning.  Maybe because in the beginning we are so desperate to find comfort in our marriage being saved vs finding comfort in God.  and as we begin to  find comfort in God our  prayers of desperation become more calm.  And we mistake this as not being as strong in prayer as we once were.  

  • I know in the beginning months I could walk the dog and  pray for our marriage for 45 minutes before I would  quit due to being worn out and not knowing what  else to say.  Now my prayer  for the marriage just consists of a couple of sentences max.  So, I am feeling the same as you. Not sure if what I typed previously is just an excuse to justify my lack in prayer or what.  

    but, if you are finding peace in prayer, I would say you are surely on track.  

  • When we think of Christian life as a struggle, we need to remember how much of a struggle life is/would be without Jesus or being Christian.  

  • I struggle with the same things. I'm sure we all do. Jesus said the life of a Christian is difficult. But, it is the most rewarding. A woman in my study group has been praying for her husband to get saved for 25 years. It's hard on her but she has never given up. God works in His own time.

    Enjoy the time you do have and praise the Lord for the wonderful medical news.

    Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life.

    Ecclesiastes 5:18

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