Collaborate without boundaries

R4D10 Oatmeal cookies

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I thought all day long about what I could do out of the ordinary for DH.  I kept coming up with nothing.  I ended up running by the grocery store on my way home, and saw some oatmeal raisin cookies in the bakery - DH's favorite.  I bought a couple and left them for DH to find in the kitchen.  He never said anything but I know he saw them.  I went to my Tuesday night Bible study tonight, and while I was gone, DH completely cleaned up the dinner mess - loaded the dishwasher and everything.  First time in 6 months, I think.  He used to do that for me every Tuesday.  I yelled a huge thank you when I walked in and saw what he had done.  I just have to remember that his action means nothing, and thank both him and God for the kindness.

I spoke with my counselor this morning, and I have decided to spend Christmas with my sister.  DH has a colonoscopy scheduled for Monday.  I want to stay in town for that, and I am going to leave probably Wednesday or Thursday of next week.  I plan to come home either Christmas night or the day after.  I am going to tell DH tomorrow at dinner.  I am at peace with the decision, and believe it is God-directed.  I have taken a look recently at how often Jesus withdrew from not only the crowds but even those closest to him.  The gospel of Mark mentions it a lot. Jesus was fully human.  He felt all the same emotions I do. Grief over betrayal, grief over the condition of people's hearts, anxiety over his impending crucifixion, sorrow over rebellion, anger at evil.  Jesus Himself had to have breaks and time away from it all to get refreshed and spend quality time with His Father.  How much more then do I need the same.  The crowd is pressing in on me, so to speak.  I am weary, emotionally spent.  I grieve over the condition of my DH's heart.  I grieve over my own sin.  I grieve the loss of love.  I am anxious about my future.  I will have lots of free time to spend in the word and in prayer - refreshment for my soul.  To stay home and subject myself to this holiday under these circumstances would only serve to drain my tank.  I need a full tank.  Am I giving up on my marriage?  No!  Am I giving up on God?  No!  I ask God to use this time to fill me for service in His kingdom and in my marriage.  And I thank God for protecting my marriage one more day. 
  • What are you going to do if he shows disappointment when you say you are going out  of town for Christmas?  You don't have to reply, but thought maybe you should think, pray about this.  

  • I've learned that I need to invite my wife into everything I do. Maybe you should extend an invitation. I know that would be the opposite of what you would think but Jesus was the opposite of what everyone thought. He formed an upside-down kingdom where love conquers all when everyone expected Him to physically conquer all. More than likely your husband would probably decline but your offer would show tremendous love. Just a thought.

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