Collaborate without boundaries

R3D37 Crying in public is never fun.....

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Today's dare was prayer.  I had a fitful night last night, and I called in and took a vacation day today.  I spent a lot of time in prayer today, most of it in tears.  I have cried harder today than any day since this nightmare began.  To top it off, Home Depot called this morning and told me that the hardwood flooring that I ordered back in October for my old house that I hopefully will not be moving back into, which was back ordered until November 17, is now on back order until December 29.  I went by there later in the afternoon, and there is really not anything comparable for the same price, so I really have no choice but to just wait.  They tried to sell me something I didn't want instead because it was in stock.  It took me a long time to decide on what I wanted, and it just upset me.  I just broke down in the middle of Home Depot and cried.  I don't want a divorce.  I don't want to move into that house.  I don't want that other flooring either.  I am afraid to tell DH about the delay with the flooring.  So now my house won't be ready until the beginning of the new year.  I could move everything into the bedrooms and just live in the bedrooms.  They are carpeted but the living areas are just subfloor right now.  Or if DH asks me to move out I could go live with my daddy for a while.  

Satan has a stronghold on my marriage.  Sin is great but Jesus is greater.  I know that God is able to resurrect my marriage with the same power that resurrected Jesus from the grave.  I have prayed today for relief.  I feel That i am at the end of my rope emotionally.  I need relief, whatever form God chooses to provide it.  I need rest and peace, found only in Him.  I have prayed for DH, for his heart to be open to counseling. I have prayed for God's protection of my marriage.  I have prayed for Christ to shine His light through me. And like Jesus, I have prayed to let this cup pass from me, not my will but Thine be done.
  • I know where you are at.  I am there too, the mountain seems so big and the night is so dark, have faith and stay the course.  No matter what happens you will be rewarded for that, but I too do not want a divorce with every fiber in my body.  However it seems like to the seeing world that this is what my wife has her heart set on and will do it just to not back down if for no other reason.  Although she does have a good reason.  Anyways maybe the back order is a blessing and DH will let you stay longer and give God more time to soften his heart.

  • As Trey said, God may use that backorder for good reason.  He certainly can.  And maybe He is the one that caused the backorder and for no other flooring to be suitable.  God uses everything for the good of those that  love Him.  

  • This may be just my foolish thinking. Because I have not heard anyone else say it.  But I wonder sometimes if God doesn't bring the relief we need or start moving in a bigger way in our marriages because we want the marriage so bad and we don't want a  d so much.  Because so often we don't want a failed marriage for our reasons, not so much because we want God's will to be done.

    We especially in the beginning want to save the marriage for us, for our comfort.  But, as time goes on, we grow in endurance and begin realizing that with God, we will be comforted no matter what.

  • And when we truly start believing  that and living that, then it is when God starts more fully working in us and our spouse.  Because he has to  wait for us to switch our motivation for standing for the marriage from our desire to  standing to  please God's desires for the  marriage.  Because if He got  us situated in the marriage  or in a d before we got to the point of standing for the marriage for God's sake, then we would not  have reason to continue our growth.

  • I this is true, then we need to be joyful in the pain, because we then know God is really watching out  for and guiding us in our journey with Him.

  • I thought I better come back and add this.  I was not inferring your motivation for standing for the marriage.  More so of my shortcomings.  

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