Collaborate without boundaries

R3D36 Clinging to His Word

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I asked DH what he meant last Tuesday when he asked what I thought.  He was basically wanting to know what my plans were.  I told him that I didn't have any plans.  He hasn’t filed for divorce yet because he was waiting for my house to be ready (the house that I moved out of 3 1/2 years ago has been a rental and I have been getting it ready to sell - but now I guess I may be moving back in), and because he said he would go to the doctor first.   He wanted to know when I was planning to move out.  I told him that I would move when he would no longer let me stay, that I didn’t want to move.  He said he felt awful about what he was doing.  I asked him why he was doing it.  He said he just wasn’t happy and that we are too different.  I asked him if things had ever been good.  He said yes.  I told him I wanted an honest answer and he said yes they had been good.  I asked him why they couldn’t be good again and he couldn’t give me an answer.  I told him that the only answer that had come to my mind regarding the question he asked me on Tuesday night was that what I think is that we don’t need a divorce, we need help.  At some point he said he really didn’t want to talk right now and said maybe we could talk tomorrow or Tuesday.  I said that I wanted him to consider something.  I asked him to consider counseling, that we really hadn’t done everything we could to save the marriage and I hated for it to end knowing that.  Then I got up and went to bed.  I cannot believe this is happening to me.  I don't want my marriage to end. 

Regarding today's dare, I am in the Word every day.  It's all that I have and I am clinging to it.  I didn't ask DH if he would be agreeable to reading the Bible together,  - the dare said if your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit...  He is definitely not open right now.  I studied the story of Hannah this morning in 1 Samuel.  How she wept and prayed in deep agony, and afterwards, returned to her meal and was no longer despondent.  She prayed and left the outcome to God.  I wish I had that kind of faith.  I want that kind of faith. I believe, Lord, help my unbelief.  
  • It is amazing to me when our spouses feel unhappy, they shift there lack of a relationship with God, which brings peace and joy (which is the happiness they are seeking), to saying we are too different, or I love you but not in love with you.  They have to know, or someday will come to the  conclusion that these excuses are invalid.  

  • You did the dare and you answered his question and gave him things to think about.  Let God continue to  work.

    To me, it surely still seems like he is not sure what he wants. He sees the goodness in you.  Who wouldn't want that?  

    He feels Christ's conviction.  He senses your peace in where he expected you to show anger.  He has to be feeling at odds with himself, with his conscience which knows good from bad to his flesh that just wants to escape his unhappiness in what he has chosen to do.  

  • Keep Hannah in mind, and even seek her wisdom in all this.  She surely is in heaven.  And thus alive.  Why not ask her to guide you and intercede for you to find the strength she had in God for you to find.

    We  ask each other to pray for us all the time, I think someone's prayers in heaven would be even more effective than our prayers on earth.  

  • Your husband saw how you took some rough news and remained composed in Christ.  What your husband says is not the definition of what will happen.  

    You are so close to having Hannah's faith.  Leave the outcome to God and just feel the joy you will have in the divine providence God has in store for you.

  • I am sorry if I lead you on that things were better than what they appear.  But I still think he doesn't know what he wants and his pride or stubbornness or doubt that it can work after his behavior is holding him back.  Keep being the best you, you can be.  

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