Collaborate without boundaries

R3D35 Counsel

  • Comments 5

"Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisors bring success."  After reading today's dare, these words in Proverbs have been on my mind all day.  I have been very fortunate to have wonderful Christian counsel during this ordeal.  But each of the 4 Christian women that have provided me encouragement and helped to keep me grounded in the truth have given me the same message this week - that my DH is not going to follow through with the divorce.  So strange that independently of each other, they have each told me that this week.  I really don't know how to process that.  

On Tuesday night, DH asked me three times "What do you think?" with regards to the divorce.  I am not sure if he was wanting me to talk him out of it or plan it out for him.  But since then, that question has "haunted" me.  Every time that I think about that question, the same response comes to my mind.  What I think is that we don't need a divorce, we need help.  This verse in Proverbs today confirms that in my mind.  From the very beginning, DH was unwilling to go to counseling.  I feel God leading me to tell him what I think, and perhaps open the door for the possibility of marriage counseling.  I in no way intend to even ask - I just want to share with DH what my answer to that question is.  I am praying that the Holy Spirit will guide my thoughts and actions, and enable DH to see our need for "help".

  • He keeps asking you about what do you think.  And in his mind you keep ignoring him.  He swallowed pride to ask you and then takes another hit in his pride by asking again and again, and then another hit in his pride because he gets  no response.  

    He is not on the same journey as you, hence, his flesh may quickly rise out of pride and say that's enough, on to looking at a d again.

    My thought is that he wants to know what you think, because he wants you to lead the path to putting the d out of the picture.  Remember, he thought you were moving out this week.  He doesn't want that, he has been showing you in his actions that his words of a d are not as solid as they once were.

  • Seek wisdom and strength to tell him what you think.  But let him know in your words a d is not an option, you choose to love him, etc.  He sees it, maybe it's time he hears it again.  He's looking for you to be the leader in this moment.  

    my thoughts anyway.  

  • Oh wow, you said something in a way that I hadn't thought about it.  He wants me to lead the path to putting the divorce out of the picture.  I hadn't thought about that - it has never dawned on me that he wants me to take the lead, to lead us out of this mess.

  • Perhaps rather than disappointed that I didn't move this weekend, he is relieved.  I never thought about that until just now.

  • That's my assumption.   He doesn't really know what he's thinking at times.  Maybe he just needs a little nudging.  Like a kid walking into preschool for the first time.  Scared but with gentle prodding, he walks into the classroom.

    We are so ingrained to look at things from our viewpoint, even after doing the dares, that we forget what's going on with them.  

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