Collaborate without boundaries

R3D22 Did it in R1 but not today....

  • Comments 7

I couldn't bring myself to complete today's dare.  What used to be so easy to say is now so difficult, and not because I don't mean it.  I told him 4 nights ago that I love him and that I always will.  It was the night that he told me he had met with an attorney.  But today, why couldn't I repeat it?  I really don't know other than we were having a good day, and it just seemed that inserting those words would have put a damper on things.

When I got home from church, DH told me that he would be eating lunch at home rather than with his daughter, and he said "Well, I guess I'll go in there and make me a sandwich", and just started laughing.  I knew what he meant - he was wanting me to go make him a sandwich!  So I laughed and told him that I would go make us some sandwiches.  A little while later he said that he was going to watch one of the grandson's soccer games and asked me if I wanted to go.  I messed up here.  I was already in front of my computer putting together a big report for work that is due tomorrow.  Without giving it much thought, I said no, that I really needed to finish that report.  I realized what I had done as he was picking up his keys to walk out the door.  I felt panicked when I realized that I had just blown an opportunity.  I told him as he was leaving that I would really like to go and appreciated him asking, but that I really needed to work on that report.  Which actually, it took me the rest of the day to finish.  He brought the grandsons back home with him.  While he was in the backyard playing with them, and I was working on my report, he called my cell phone and told me to quickly come to the back window and look out.  He had taken the leaf blower and made a huge pile of leaves for the grandkids and dog to play in.  I went outside and took some pictures and a video of him playing in the leaves with them.  I posted them on Facebook with the caption "Family Fun", and he liked it.  Later, he asked me to help him post them on his Facebook.  And he also asked me to help him write an email to a tenant.  I really enjoyed the time that was spent with him today.  I praise God for the friendship that I was able to share with him today.  I praise God for protecting my marriage for another day.  I really don't understand how he can ask for my help, want to share experiences with me, laugh with me, and want a divorce.   
  • I always feel odd in replying to everyone.  I come across not very positive and usually with just shoulda, coulda type words for others.  but when I post, everyone is always kind.  So, never take  what I say as being harsh.  I know I come across that way and it is part of what she is upset about with me.

    If this was round one or  two for you, I would really, really make a point of  you not completing the dare.  So, in round two, I will just really (just one really, LOL) make a point  of doing the dares as they are intended to be done.  do not fear that saying those 3 words will ruin a good day. Even if they do change the tone of the day, God uses the dares as moments to bring conviction to your spouse a little more because each dare opens the door for Christ to work all the more in your spouse.

  • I always feel odd in replying to everyone.  I come across not very positive and usually with just shoulda, coulda type words for others.  but when I post, everyone is always kind.  So, never take  what I say as being harsh.  I know I come across that way and it is part of what she is upset about with me.

    If this was round one or  two for you, I would really, really make a point of  you not completing the dare.  So, in round two, I will just really (just one really, LOL) make a point  of doing the dares as they are intended to be done.  do not fear that saying those 3 words will ruin a good day. Even if they do change the tone of the day, God uses the dares as moments to bring conviction to your spouse a little more because each dare opens the door for Christ to work all the more in your spouse.

  • You have been and continue to  be molded in the dares.  Yet, we still will as I think you mentioned, blow an opportunity.  Such as reacting  that way when our spouse asks us to do something when we are very busy.  Our flesh continually looks at ourselves vs others.  But, thank God you quickly saw how the flesh responded.  The old you may have not, and the old me for sure would not have caught we could have shown kindness when asked about doing something.  I am sure your husband noticed your kind reaction.

  • It is crazy how your spouse can ask for you to  make a sandwich, share a fun family moment, ask your  help with FB and also help with the tenant after talking to a lawyer.  But, it's his flesh that talked to a lawyer, but it is Christ, in part working through your kindness and  patience, that is also working in Him.

    Bank on Christ's strength being a  source of goodness in your life vs the flesh of your husband bringing hurt.

  • He feels he has to justify what he had said in the past of wanting a d.  Our flesh and pride and the worlds ways keep him from saying oops, I made a mistake.  

    He has  free will to do what he is going  to do, but God is a great bender of our free will.  

    Keep praising God for all things, including the changes in the both of you.  

  • Your post about God being a great bender of our free will - God led me to pursue that train of thought this morning in my quiet time with him.  I was led to Proverbs 21:1, which says that God moves the hearts of even kings wherever he chooses.  I am claiming and praying that truth.  I am praying that God will move DH's heart back to both Him and this marriage,

  • You and others amaze me in how much you get out of His word.  I am glad, it shows me how much growing I need to do.  

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