Collaborate without boundaries

R3D12 Silence doesn't equal winning

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The opening sentence from today's dare reads "If you were asked to name three areas where you and your spouse disagree, you’d likely be able to do it without thinking very hard."  Well, I have thought long and hard about this.  The three areas that I came up with are the fact that we disagree on the need for a divorce, the fact that we must not see eye-to-eye on the urgency of DH's need to make a doctor appointment, and the only other thing that came to mind is the fact that we apparently disagree when it comes to decorating styles (although I don't know what about the house DH doesn't like - he wouldn't tell me- just threw it out there when saying he wants a divorce).  We don't really fight or argue about anything.  That's one reason his announcement that he is not happy with the marriage was such a shock.  But the fact that we don't fight or argue doesn't mean we don't disagree, and I am just now realizing this.  We haven't argued much because DH just remains silent rather than voicing his opinion.  The problem is, I am not really sure what disagreements he has been holding in.  Because of pride, I did not do a great job with letting him win - I did not create an environment where he felt safe to express his opinion without me taking the attitude that I was right and he was wrong.  I thought his silence meant he must agree with me, but it was the opposite.  I pray that God will help me to develop humility, and that I will have opportunities to let DH win.  I really wasn't sure how to put DH's preference first in an area of disagreement after coming to these realizations today.  But I vow as opportunity arises and I sense that something is a potential area of disagreement, I will let him win.  By doing so I will show him the honor and respect that God asks of me.

  • Doing the rounds 3 times is going to ingrain in you the lesson of this dare and others.  So when opportunities to let him win come up, it will become much more  natural for you to do so, without you even having to make a pronounced effort to do so.  

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