Collaborate without boundaries

R3D9 "How was your day?"

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Well, I tried to change up my greeting today when I got home from work.   I not only smiled and said hi, but followed it up with an immediate "how was your day?".  He actually responded and said fine.  That was the extent of his response, but it was a response.  I thank God that we are still living under one roof and that I have the opportunity at the end of the day to actually greet DH.  

I spent a long time in prayer this morning before I left for work.  God really laid it on my heart to pray for DH's spiritual walk.  All this time I have prayed for DH to reconcile with me, but as I prayed this morning, I was really struck with the realization that what he really needs is to reconcile with God.  And so I prayed this morning that God would act in whatever way He chooses to draw my DH to Him.  I also prayed for DH's physical health.  He had his 4th instance of bleeding last night in 6 weeks.  He told me about it and asked what I thought.  I told him that I thought it was time to call the doctor.  He said that was obvious at this point.  An answer to prayer that he finally came to the realization that he needs to be seen by the doctor.  He did not call and make an appointment today.  I am going to give it a couple of days, and check back with him to see if he has made an appointment.  If not, I am going to volunteer to make the call for him since he has already said that he needs to.  I don't want to nag him, but I am very concerned.  However, I am trusting God in this.  I know that sometimes, God uses things like our health to get our attention and draw us back to him.  And my DH needs that more than his physical health or our marriage.  I pray that God will use my broken life, redeemed by Him, as a testimony to my DH by the life that I now live.  As I continue in this journey, I realize that what I thought was a testimony was really the opposite.   Pride was in the way.  Thank God for forgiveness and sanctification.
  • That was a big turning point for me as well.  The whole time at the beginning I was praying for God to restore my marriage when what I really needed was to draw close to him and pray for the both of us to return our hearts to the Lord.  Still pray every day for her heart to return to Him, for all those on this site or that has ever been on this site for our spouses hearts to seek Him and to restore these broken marriages and use this experience to further build up His kingdom.

    God took this enormous feeling of pain inside my heart and used it to build a relationship with Him that I never realized I needed before.  Grew up in the church and always thought I was going through the narrow gate but this revelation that has come to me during this trial in my life opened my eyes to see that I was steadily heading through the wide gate because He was never first in my life.

    Good job changing up your greeting.  It is funny to look back at how stale my marriage was because we both were focused in our own needs.  We all know that our natural responses are going to be "fine".  Ask opened ended questions next time.  Ask "What did you do at work today?", he might say "Nothing" but use that as an opportunity to talk about your day as well.  It is ok to share your feelings, do it without having any expectations.

  • the prayers you said for the marriage were heard and it's always good to pray. But it is even better that you now see in a way your prayers were more of a selfish prayer.  Like most all of us, we pray for the marriage to be restored so that we find comfort.  But you are now praying purely for him.  

    It's funny really.  We get a kick out of getting a response sometimes even if it's just "fine".  Enjoy the response and let God know you appreciate Him even more.  And let Him know you know that getting the response is all through His work, not yours.  

    Glad you recognize pride.  Such a sin that brings forth more sin.  I pray I see the pride in my life like you.  

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