Collaborate without boundaries

R3D1 Tolerating without complaint

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I looked up the definition of patience today.  It is "the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset".  I have really developed more of this characteristic over the last couple of months.  I have learned to accept rejection, hostility, and being ignored without so much as a word in return.  In fact, last week as DH told me for a third time that he wants a divorce, I was able to calmly converse with him and even managed to smile a couple of times.  God has taught me that He is the source, that my ability to be patient comes directly from Him, because He himself is patient.  

Tonight after my DH took a shower, he called me back to the bedroom.  He showed me the underwear he took off, and it was spotted with blood.  Then he showed me the sheets on the bed.  There were two small spots of blood on the bed.  He says that he must have bled during the night and not have known it.  In the last month or so, he has bled twice, both times quite a lot as we were starting to be intimate.  He attributed it to taking some kind of herbal viagra.  Last night he says that he accidently took an aspirin instead of a Tagamet.  He already takes an aspirin a day to keep his blood thin, so he thinks the bleeding last night in his sleep may have something to do with that.  I disagree and think he needs to see the doctor, but I bit my lip instead of giving him an earful of what I think.  So, I was able to complete today's dare by keeping my mouth shut.  I am worried that something is wrong.  I think it has bothered him too.  He has been completely quiet tonight.  But I think the decision for him to see the doctor needs to be his decision and not a result of my insistence.  I just don't know when and how hard to push.  Last year when he had a stroke, it happened while I was cooking dinner. He asked where the blood pressure cuff was, and I told him.  I later asked if his BP was high, and he said it was normal.  He never told me that he had gone numb on the left side of his body for about 15 minutes!  That was on a Thursday.  On Sunday afternoon, it apparently had bothered him, and he told me and his daughter about what had happened, and I told him those were stroke symptoms.  I told him that he needed to call the doctor on Monday.  When he got home from work that Monday, he hadn't called the doctor. I just insisted.  The doctor called back that evening and told us to go directly to the hospital. And sure enough, he was diagnosed as having had a stroke.  He had a clot in his brain.  I say all that to say that he is very stubborn about going to the doctor, and I am at a loss as to how to handle it.  I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place.  Back to the definition of patience - my ability to tolerate delay is wearing thin!  But the "old me" would have already worn him out trying to force him to go to the doctor.
  • He brings up the d again and you smile.  that is showing the light of Christ.  he has to feel confused and convicted in even that alone.  And he may even begin getting mad,  because he should be the one in his mind to be happy not you.  and the reverse is becoming evident to him. that he isn't finding happiness while  you are.

  • I think you should ask him if you can call the doctor for him.  it may be just an inflammation or an infection in his prostrate or urinary system.  I have no clue, but it may be as serious as it seems or it could be very serious.  Why some of us want to  take these risks and  not find out, I do not know.

    Can you find a way to word things in such a way to ask him to see the doctor without sounding pushy?  I am sure you can.

    pray about it and see where you are led.  

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