Collaborate without boundaries

R2D37 An epic failure???

  • Comments 4

Well, Dare 37 of round 2, and I still can't do it.  I can't ask him if we can pray together.  I cannot seem to overcome my hesitation.  I pray FOR him everyday.  I would love to pray WITH him, but that isn't going to happen right now.  If I asked him to pray, it would be me doing the praying.  So, I can ask him if we can pray everyday, but it just seems too awkward for me to always be the one praying, if he would even agree to it in the first place.  I also think that he would look at it as a last ditch effort to try to manipulate him back. If he were to say that he was willing to try and make things work, I could easily ask him to pray with me, even if I did all the talking.  But the way things stand, I am just not comfortable with it.  But I will continue to lift him up in prayer and asked every Christian friend that I have to do the same.  There is power in prayer.  I wonder - is this just a failure on my part??

My DH seemed more like himself tonight than he has in 4 months.  It was 4 months ago today that he told me out of the blue that he wanted a divorce.  I praise and thank God for these last 4 months, hard as they have been.  I have grown so much.  Perhaps telling me night before last that his mind is made up about the divorce lifted some kind of burden off him.  We got our taxes back today and chit chatted about them, he cracked a joke like I haven't heard him do in months, and he told me to come look at some pictures on his phone.  I am thankful that he is friendly and that things aren't as hostile between us, but it is very confusing to me. 
  • As his roller coaster goes up and down, you just stay consistent in what you are learning in the dares, always showing kindness and being patient.  He, even after showing kindness, will often then shut down a bit or show some meanness, just to show you he isn't softening.  He feels he has to justify his actions.  

    I can't remember exactly how this dare is suppose to be.  But next time, at the minimum, could you just put your hand on his shoulder as you are passing by and just say a quick one sentence prayer.  Such as, Dear God, please be with us today.  Something simple that he can relate to yet not feel like it is you trying to get him to change.  And by the time your one sentence is said, he has no time to object to any prayer.  Just a thought.  

  • When you are most afraid of doing a dare, that is when you need to do the dare.  And show God you do trust completely in Him.  These are the dares where the most growth can come in to play.  And also the dares where you leave the door even more wide open for God to work in him.

    Where we fear is where we don't trust Him to be with us.

  • I know it's hard when you are the only one praying when you've come together as a couple to pray. I hate praying out loud. To me it feels like I am naked before people but my husband is great with it. I love to hear his prayers. His prayers for me and for our family. It has encouraged me to open up and do the same. (In past months of course.) I know this challenge is hard for you but I know you can push through it. Maybe DH needs to hear how you pray for him, not just know that you do. Tim is right.... It doesn't have to be elaborate. It doesn't have to be asking God to change him. A simple "Thank you for this man and the time we have together. Please watch over him as he goes about his day." can change a heart.

    I also agree that we get the most growth from the ones that really challenge us. They push us out of our comfort zone and allow God to move in big ways. What if Peter had been too scared to step out of the boat and walk to Jesus? That story has brought me so much courage and comfort over the years and this prayer could do the same for DH.

  • Dpowell, I really appreciate what you said, especially about Peter being too scared to get out of the boat! I need to get out of the boat, out of the safety and security of my own boat.

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