Collaborate without boundaries

R2D35 At a loss

  • Comments 2

Today's dare is all about seeking wise, Godly counsel, and thanks to my Heavenly Father for providing me just that.  I am blessed to be able to afford to see a counselor, and have a dear friend whose husband also suffers from depression, and she has been such a blessing in my life.  And thank goodness that I have an appointment day after tomorrow with the counselor, because I need it!!!  I am having a very hard time dealing with the fact that DH went for a check-up with his doctor today, and didn't mention the bleeding during sex issue.  I told him that it would give me great peace of mind if he would, but he didn't say anything to him.  I have absolutely no idea why he didn't mention it.  I think he just doesn't want to deal with it.  Last year when he had a stroke, he would argue that he really didn't have one, even tho the doctor told him he did.  He has had such a hard time coming to terms with his decline in health, and he just doesn't like to discuss it.  It's like if he ignores it, it doesn't exist.  In the meantime, I feel like crying.  He's already been diagnosed 2 years ago with stage 0 colon cancer, and all I can think about is what if he has prostate or bladder cancer??  Why wouldn't he want to be checked out?  I just don't know what to do or say at this point.  I want to respect his feelings and his right to make his own decisions, but on the other hand I feel so strongly that he seek medical attention.  It was difficult to hold back the tears when he told me that he didn't mention it to the doctor.  It was hard to hide my emotions over the situation.  I didn't say anything.  I just let it drop.  But I know that he saw my disappointment, and I hope that he doesn't think I was trying to be controlling or disrespectful.  I was trying very hard not to be.  Everything I have read says that he should see a doctor about it.  Could be something as treatable as an enlarged prostate or infection, or something much worse.  I am just at a loss.  I love him and I don't want anything to be wrong and not treated properly.  And it just makes it all the more difficult that our marriage is hanging by a thread and we aren't really talking about anything meaningful.  On a brighter note, he did pick up two boxes of Raisinettes at the store on his way home (my favorite candy).  

  • It may be possible he did mention the bleeding to the doctor but just doesn't want to tell you he did.  Because that would look like he caved in a bit for you.  But, with him denying health issues, that  may not be the case.

    Does he have a follow up appointment with the doctor? Or a scheduled appointment coming up?  If so, could you ask him if it would be okay to call or email the doctor with your concern?  This way he won't have to bring up what he may think of as a sensitive or embarrassing issue.  

  • Think of a difficult dare that you have done......Then consider that  when he buys you a box of raisinettes (I like those too) that it may be just as difficult for him to let his guard down to buy that box for you.

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