Collaborate without boundaries

Oh boy, now what???

  • Comments 6

Well I just thought things were getting better.  DH told me on the way to bed tonight that he wants a divorce and that his mind is made up.  He says he told his daughter 2 weeks ago.  We chatted for a while, very calmly.  He says that he gave it more time like I asked, but that his feelings haven't changed and that he isn't happy.  I did end up asking him why he didn't tell the doctor about the bleeding today.  He says he thinks he bled because he was taking some kind of herbal viagra although it never affected him that way before.  I told him after we talked for a while, as I got up to go to bed, for him to just do whatever he felt he needed to do.  He asked if I wanted to be the one to file.  I said absolutely not, but in a calm way.  I told him that I didn’t want the divorce, don’t believe in divorce and am morally opposed to it. He said the only reason he asked is because years ago, his ex-wife had papers served on him at his job and that it was embarrassing and he wouldn’t want me to be served in front of people like that.  I told him I didn’t care, and for him to just do what he felt he needed to do.  I told him that I loved him and that I always would.  Oh boy, now what???  The one thing I can say is that working through the dares the last couple of months enabled me to keep my cool tonight, to be calm and kind and respond in love.  Thank you, Holy Spirit.  And thank you God for giving me the opportunity to love this man until the end, whenever and whatever that may be.  Sure am glad I have that counseling appointment on the calendar day after tomorrow!

  • HIs words last night are not the final words.  In fact, many of our spouses have said the same thing, yet, later they have no recall of the conversation.  

    Love believes the best.  He bought you candy and let his guard down.  He told you about his doctor appointment.  And he knows these things are symbols of letting his guard down.  So, believe the best, he just feels he has to bring up d to justify how he has been acting and to show you he really hasn't let his guard down when he does nice things for you.  

  • that's great in a time like this, you are remembering to thank God.  

    Pray he sees why he really isn't happy.  Because he is being fooled by his  flesh, the world's ways, or evil.  Because it's not you or the marriage that  has  him in an unhappy state.  You know where joy comes from but he is not willing right now to admit where joy comes from.  

    he may pursue happiness in his own ways, but will not find it.  And some day he may finally see Christ is the  source of what he is desiring, and then he may seek you, because he will see that you have Christ.  So, stay the course and be consistent in what the dares are teaching.

  • And if he wants to do anything to forward the progress of a d, do as you did, and let him do the work in that.  Sometimes they just get frustrated taking the steps to seek a d and then just abandon the idea.  

  • You asked now what?  if unsure, then Be still and know He is God.  

  • Tears came to my eyes as I read your post to pray that he sees why he really isn’t happy.  He needs Christ.  And the thought that he may never know Christ and his joy in that way breaks my heart.

  • Praying for you guys! Don't give up!!

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