Collaborate without boundaries

On a side note....

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On DH's way to bed he took the dog with him rather than put her outside for the evening.  I went back there to get her.  She didn’t want to leave and peed all over the comforter and sheets.  I had to strip the bed, put the sheets into wash, try to clean the comforter best I could - it’s not washable- he didn’t say thank you or sorry I shouldn’t have brought her back here or anything.  I should have just let him sleep on the bare mattress.   He suggested it, but that was an expensive mattress - there is no reason to ruin it.  This is the second time this has happened.  The dog wants to stay in the bed and when we go to get her, she is upset and pees.  I feel like screaming and crying at the same time.  When it happened, he said, “that dog just peed on my bed”.  My bed???  I paid for half the mattress.  I am so tired of this craziness.  My counselor told me yesterday that if DH is changing his mind, it will be a very slow process for him.  In the meantime I am dying.  It's bad enough that he'd rather sleep with the dog than me.  I think that tomorrow I maytell him that I would appreciate it if he didnt take the dog to the bed anymore, and just say that if she pees on the bed again, I don't feel that it's my responsibility to clean the mess up.  Or surely by now he gets it and I don't really need to say anything at all???

  • It can be a fine line.  We say something, it becomes close to trying to take control instead of allowing God to place conviction upon our spouse.  When we say something, it tends to  bring the emotions of the flesh into play vs us leading our hearts.

    Sometimes they just do these things just to get a reaction from us.  They know the dog is going to pee, yet they do it to see if we will react, and then say, see, all your changes are a ruse to win me back.  It's all fake.

    Be very careful if you say anything, how you say it.  Whenever you choose to say anything, do it in love, always showing kindness.

    If anything error in not  saying anything. be still until you know you should say something.  By that time, you may choose to not say anything at all.  

  • Let him say and think things like My Mattress.  And you don't think of it like I paid for half of a  nice mattress.  Think that we, you and him, in unity, paid for  a nice mattress.  Don't divide yourselves by saying I paid for half.  

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